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 MAURY ALLEN

 CANSECO'S
LONELY FUTURE

 
JOSE CANSECO
...how long will that smile last?

His locker-room tales
surely burned bridges

By MAURY ALLEN
of TheColumnists.com

Jose Canseco always seemed huge and dumb when I covered him as a member of the Bash Brothers, Canseco and Mark McGwire, with the A’s and throughout his baseball travels into Yankee Stadium.

He used to fill up a locker all by himself and loved jousting with the press. I found him hard to take because his interviews hardly ever made sense.

There was a fight guy years ago named Blinky Palermo. You couldn’t stop laughing while looking at him. These were in the days before disabled people were called physically challenged and ethnic nicknames were the thing.

Canseco would hit 450-foot home runs and we would giggle in the press box that he “blinked all the way home.”

He did his blinking recently on “60 Minutes” as he snitched on all his pals by saying he was the steroid minister of baseball and gave out the names of his flock.

I didn’t doubt a word of what he said.

The reason baseball’s operators winked if not blinked at steroids is because they were all in on the joke. Baseball almost died in 1994 after the World Series was blown and the players were on strike.

Homes runs by McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds and all the rest saved the game, the same way Babe Ruth saved it from 1920 on by crashing home runs after the 1919 Black Sox scandal was revealed.

From Commissioner Bud Selig on down, baseball officials reveled in the new attention these home run hitters were gaining for the game. The turnstiles were busy, the television fees were huge and the ball park hot dogs, beer sales and parking fees were enormous.

Baseball, like all big league sports, is mostly about money. That’s the dirty little secret. Not the steroids. Not the illegal drugs the players used and still do. Not the alcohol consumed by teams on planes, in hotel rooms and private parties.

It is all about making money.

Canseco was a good but not great player. His name alone wouldn’t sell books. His book “Juiced” is a best seller because it opens up the gossipy side of steroid use to a non-baseball audience.

Most locker rooms of pro athletes have a sign reading, “What you see here, what you say here and what you hear here stays here.” Sort of like national politics. Keep the press away and you can march into Iraq, steal a couple of elections and turn the country over to the rich.

Every so often an insider becomes an outsider. A pitcher named Jim Brosnan did that with Cincinnati in the 1960s. Jim Bouton with iconoclastic “Ball Four” did that in the 1970s. Ball players drink, chase women and cheat on their wives, Bouton revealed.
Bouton was excommunicated from the game and wasn’t allowed back for an old timer’s game for almost four decades.

Canseco better forget about being welcomed to the Oakland A’s alumni luncheons.
He will make some money on the book. As experienced in this area, he will be shocked to find out he doesn’t make as much as he expects. Publishers are known to hire light fingered Looeys to do their books.

If Brosnan and Bouton are any examples, after the dust is cleared and the money is spent, Canseco will miss the thrill of being introduced before a nostalgic crowd in Oakland or New York.

A year from now he will be forgotten with the next expose and simply become a footnote to the changing mores of the game and to American life.

Mickey Mantle, an icon to the end, once told me that the saddest part of being out of the game was simply missing the bullshitting in the clubhouse among the players. It is an area no writer no fan, not even a club executive can understand. It is their eminent domain.

Like Pete Rose, Canseco will never again see the inside of a big league clubhouse. No former teammate or active player will pose for pictures with him. When he signs books he will have to stare down all the purchasers when they ask, “Why did you snitch?”

Canseco bragged on “60 Minutes” and in his book how much he knew about steroids and how much it helped him achieve that athletic success. Ken Caminiti was an MVP and drug abuser. He is dead at the present time.

Don’t make book on Canseco spending his senior citizenry in a retirement home.
Baseball is finally moving on the steroid question about a dozen years later than it should. Guys will still use steroids, still cheat, still beat the drug testing. Some people never learn and never care.

If we did, no one in America would light up a cigarette, overdose on booze, stuff themselves with fast food or drive a car without a seat belt.

Canseco will make a splash for a few weeks and then the games will begin. Fans will turn their attention to Pedro Martinez as a Met, Randy Johnson as a Yankee and bulky Barry Bonds as a record breaker.

Willie Shakespeare said, “The play’s the thing."

I can only add that for most people, “The game’s the thing.”

Jose "Blinky" Canseco can’t change that. Steroids or not, alcohol or not, womanizing or not, the Red Sox will be defending a World Series title in 2005.

I want to know how that turns out more than I want to know who does or doesn’t use steroids.

©2005 by Maury Allen.
This column first posted Feb. 21, 2005

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