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 SECURITY ALERT SANTA IS COMING INTO U.S. AIRSPACE! |
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The night before Xmas:
A prankster was stirring
By ELIAS CASTILLO
of TheColumnists.com
Now it can be told: The story of how I almost got Santa Claus tracked on radar by U.S. fighter planes on Christmas Eve.
It all started back when
I was working for the Associated Press at its regional bureau
in Seattle and just ending my third year, I was assigned to work
Christmas Eve as the radio editor.
It was a task I had finally mastered after long stints of frantic,
nail chewing, editing work. Every hour I had to write a news
broadcast and update it with the latest top regional news pouring
from the states of Oregon, Idaho, Alaska, Washington and Western
Canada.
Then, every half hour, I had to assemble an abbreviated broadcast,
updating even that. As radio editor I had to quickly scan--and
I mean quickly scan--every piece of news that clickety-clacked
from the two Northwest regional news teletype machines that endlessly
poured news and sports into the bureau. It was speed reading
at its most efficient. Eventually, I had trained myself, with
the help of previous radio editors in the bureau, to quickly
read through the rolls of curled up teletype news, select, and
then rewrite the stories into radio news style--that is, in an
easy to read form for the rip-and-read disk jockeys.
They simply ripped the broadcasts off the teletypes in their
radio stations and read it directly to their listeners. Any mistake
in my "splits," as they were called, would be heard
by the thousands of persons who listened to radio across the
northwest. I worked diligently to ensure there were no mistakes.
Television stations had more time. By the time they had formed
their 6 p.m. news package, they had seen about eight different
broadcasts transmitted from the Seattle bureau and could select
what they wanted regionally.
On that particular evening, there was little news and I was rewriting
and condensing stories that had already been used, updating them
with information that had not been previously written into the
short radio news stories.
At that time the bureau was in a noisy, glassed-in partitioned
area where about 14 teletypes, carrying all of the AP's multitude
of wires, chattered endlessly. The bureau, (actually the night
bureau, the day office and main bureau was in the Seattle Times)
was part of the Seattle Post Intelligencer newsroom. I strolled
by the machines checking to see if there was anything I could
use that could fit into a regional split--sports, international
news, features, entertainment. Nothing. I could find nothing
to tie in to the regional broadcast.
I sighed deeply and was about to resign myself to another rewrite
of the last split.
Then it struck me. It was Christmas Eve.
Grinning, I strode to my typewriter (this was before the time
of computers) and sat down. I snapped off what the AP calls a
"B U L L E T I N" lead. To explain, a BULLETIN lead
is second only in importance to F L A S H stories.
When man made the first landing on the moon, it merited a FLASH
lead. When President J.F. Kennedy was assassinated, it was also
a FLASH. A BULLETIN was second only in importance to the highest
level of urgency and importance. Third in importance were stories
slugged URGENT. That designation is used in stories that are
urgent but not as important as BULLETIN matter.
I ripped the lead off and showed it to Dale Nelson, the affable
night editor, who nodded his head and likewise grinned. I then
took it to the teletypist who was sitting next to his machine,
having a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.
"OK, let's wake everybody up. Send this with lots of bells,"
I ordered.
Anytime a FLASH, BULLETIN or URGENT story was transmitted, the
teletypist had a key that would ring a prolonged bell in all
the machines receiving the story. The purpose was to announce
to all radio and TV stations and newspapers receiving the AP
wire, that a major and critically important story was about to
be transmitted.
The teletypist put down his coffee and newspapers, scanned the
lead and smiled as he swiveled to the keyboard. Quickly, he typed:
B U L L E T I N
Seattle, Wash. (AP)--The North American Aerospace Defense
Command (NORAD) has detected an unidentified flying object, possibly
a missile, on a course headed toward the Northwest.
AP940p122468EC
I raced back to my typewriter and hurriedly typed out the next
lead. As I was heading toward the teletypist, the night city
editor of the P-I rushed in. There was an anguished look in his
face.
"Elias, what's this all about! What's going on!"
"Wait, we've got more coming out." I showed him the
second story, this time
slugged:
U R G E N T
(with BULLETIN matter) 2nd lede
Seattle, Wash. (AP)-Fighter jets from bases in Canada and Alaska
have been
scrambled to intercept what NORAD believes is an unidentified
flying object,
possibly a missile, headed toward the Northwest.
AP943p122468EC
I had to act fast now, before I touched off a real panic. Thoughts
of what Orson Welles had done with his broadcast "War of
the Worlds" began filling my mind. Unless I kept this under
control, I would have to provide a lot of explaining to the AP's
no-nonsense chief editors in New York.
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The editor was still gazing nervously at the lead, when I handed him the third lead:
U R G E NT
(with BULLETIN matter) 3rd lede
Seattle, Wash. (AP)--Fighter jet pilots, scrambled from their bases to
intercept an unidentified flying object, possibly a missile, report that the
object has not only suddenly slowed but that they are hearing the jingling sound of
bells and laughter.
AP945p122468EC
He glanced at it, laughed and handed it back to me. The teletypist punched out the copy, also with a lot of bells.
Within minutes, an Air Force sergeant from Alaska NORAD was on the phone (NORAD included an AP teletype in their command center, allowing them to keep up on regional news).
Nelson handed me the phone, "It's for you."
"Hello, this is NORAD calling. We've identified that object and it’s a sled with a jolly, fat guy in a red suit guiding a bunch of reindeers," he laughed.
"Great, is he headed toward the mainland?" I asked.
"Yeah, we'll keep you abreast," he answered.
NORAD customarily launched a Santa Claus tracking on Christmas Eve. I had just started it a bit earlier.
For the next two hours, calls from disc jockeys throughout the Northwest poured into the bureau. They were giving me information on a Santa sighting which I added to the live story. I now had something to report on what would have otherwise been a slow Christmas Eve--newswise, that is.
In my lengthy career as a newsman, that Christmas Eve provided me with some of the greatest fun I've ever had. Years later, I regret not having saved the teletype sheets that carried the news across the Northwest that Santa Claus was coming to town. It would have made great reading amid a lot of egg nog and cheer.
© 2001 by Elias Castillo.
The Elias Castillo caricature is ©2001 by Jim Hummel. The
other illustrations are from IMSI's Master Clips Collection,
1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
You
can comment on this column or contact Elias Castillo with an
email to: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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