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POTTY-TRAINING
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Kermit's raisins in the pot
and other experiments
of TheColumnists.com
When it comes to matters of the diaper, my two-and-a-half year old son is a liar. He says “Mama, no big poo poo!” and then I know it’s going to be bad, because “No big poo poo” always means there’s a really big gift in the diaper. At least I have some warning, and the experts say that is a sign that potty training is near.
I recall when my sister’s son was potty training, and my sister asked him if there was anything in his diaper. After a long pause and giving careful thought to the question, his answer was this: “Naked boy?” No one could argue with that.
I’m finding that not only is potty
training creating funny memories, but it really is a part of
growing and learning that comes at a stage where each discovery
is new and amazing, even the discovery that one can control (or
lose control) of one’s body. It is also a much more challenging
experience than I had ever imagined.
A few months ago, I thought we were there. The boy was running
to the potty each time his father or myself went, eager to find
out what would happen. The sad part was, nothing did happen,
and as I got overexcited and purchased underpants for him, he
decided using the potty was all a strange and useless activity
and gave up. The underpants lie folded in a drawer, never used,
unwanted.
I am told this is normal and that I am to expect waves of eagerness followed by frustration and giving up, and then starting all over again.
But according to my mother, this boy should have been potty trained when he was old enough to sit, just like all the children in impoverished countries who don’t use diapers, and just like the imaginary children she had who were potty trained at four months (in reality all three of her daughters were trained around 18 months). I joke but she might have something, because the new popular wave of thought about potty training is exactly that–get the job done as soon as possible and save money on the diapers. At approximately $.33 per diaper (around $2.50 per day), I can appreciate this approach.
But in my experience there’s a little more to it than that. A child has to be ready, comfortable, and unafraid.
My sister suggested I try this, as it worked for her son. She had placed her son’s stuffed Kermit the Frog doll on the potty but had previously dropped a few raisins in the receptacle (raisins representing the accomplishment). When her son discovered that Kermit had used the potty, he followed suit and did as well, and that was the end of the story. A few months later and out of the blue her son asked, “Mommy, why does Kermit poop raisins?”
When I tried it, though, with the same doll, my son almost went into cardiac arrest at the thought that this frog had pooped raisins. This did NOT promote potty training and only made him afraid of Kermit, who he thought was a harmless inanimate stuffed toy and now doesn’t know what to expect from him. He periodically turns Kermit upside down and looks at his butt with wonder and amazement, and then gently puts him away.
I tried purchasing potty-training books and started with Baby Elmo’s “Potty Time with Elmo”. It is a board book with buttons on the side that, when pressed, say things or make sounds. I didn’t like the book because there was one button that sounded strange, as if Elmo was saying “Uh-oh, time to die!” I thought potty training was bad but not that bad! I decided the book was annoying and stopped reading it to my son. A few days later I saw a woman on CNN holding up the Elmo book, pushing the “Time to die!” button, and very seriously asking, “Is this the message we want to send our children?” and, “Is this some kind of sick joke?” The makers of the book insist the recording actually says “Uh-oh, time to go!” and apologize for the poor sound quality.
One of my son’s favorite books has become Richard Scary’s Critter Book, “My New Potty”. It’s all about an older brother, already potty trained, witnessing the potty training of his baby sister. My son races to the page where the family is picking out a potty for the girl, but she has no interest and exclaims “No potty! Ice cream!” He can relate! I guess I should take it from him, he’s more interested in ice cream than potty training.
©2006 by Raphaëlla Cruz. The illustration is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. East, San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted March 27, 2006.
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