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 "Say, Eve, I have a funny feeling Life is about to begin. How about you?" |
When does life begin?
Well, it all depends!
By MURRY FRYMER
of TheColumnists.com
THE STEM CELL research debate has again opened the question: When does life begin?
You can take the religious point of view, or the chemical point of view, but I have my own point of view. To wit:
Life begins when you first see a lovely brown-eyed vixen across the room at a boring cocktail party and she looks back and smiles at you. Before that, you have no idea what life is. You think it's breathing and eating. But that come-hither smile introduces you to an entirely new feeling. And something tingles within you and a flush comes to your cheek and you feel terrific, yet fragile. What is it? You're alive, babe, and now you know what all those poets were raving about.
Of course, there are other opinions on this matter.
For example, George W. Bush probably thinks life begins when your dad sticks a silver spoon in your mouth and tells you: Everything you want is yours.
Bill Gates believes life begins when you turn on a computer and it says: Sign In.
My mother believed that life begins when you "Eat something!"
Tiger Woods believes that life begins when you swing. Everything else is assured.
Mark McGwire believes that life begins when the bat meets the ball with a resounding crack.
Druggies (no names, please) believe that life begins when you light up, or the needle goes in and the music goes round and round. Life can be ecstasy. But my mother believed that a well-made blintz was the true ecstasy. And while I never tried the drugs, the blintzes were tasty, all right.
Life Magazine used to believe that Life begins with an attractive cover. So do many fashion designers.
I've heard it said that life begins with a bowl of cherries, a concept I never understood, but I do like cherries.
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I've received mail telling me that as a senior I should know that "Life begins at 65." Well, social security begins at 65, but that's another kind of life entirely. It may have more kick that I anticipate, but I think the slogan is just a sales spiel for church bingo.
Another interesting concept is that life begins after you've had a near-death experience. It may be that the greater appreciation of life requires that kind of kick-start. And then there are those very holy people who think that life begins at death. But few of these very holy people seem to be dying to find out.
Life may have begun when God said "Let their be light." Or was that just light and not life? Which makes me wonder, how can there be light without some form of life to see it? (Deep, huh?) Maybe life began when God created Adam. Or maybe for Adam, life began when God created Eve.
Or to go back to our stem cell debate, maybe life begins when a female egg meets a male sperm and the two get it on. However, if my biology is right, most of the time female eggs and male sperm don't get it on, even when they meet. It may take a few million meetings, sort of like my own dating days.
Yes, this is a complex question to a complex issue.
I should point out that even after life begins, it may peter out, as when that dark-haired girl across the room actually meets you and you find out she was smiling because she finds baldness amusing.
Life, even when it begins, is often difficult to sustain. I figure that the average man who dies at 74 has had about eight years of what he would call "life" and a whole lot of routine humdrum the rest of the time. Maybe eight years is too optimistic.
This little philosophical exercise would, of course, not be complete unless I pointed out that the pope believes that life begins with conception. But I don't remember being alive when I was conceived and I bet the pope doesn't either. I really believe that the pope, in all his holiness, has had a sheltered life and can only remember when the shelter began.
No, I think that life begins when you feel a stirring. It may come from Prozac or Monica Lewinsky, but something is there that turns you on.
And that's life.
© 2001 by Murry Frymer. Frymer caricature © 2000 by Jim Hummel. The other cartoons are from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. East, San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
YOU CAN COMMENT ON THIS COLUMN OR CONTACT MURRY FRYMER WITH AN EMAIL TO: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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