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TOO MANY HAPPY ENDINGS?
We Yanks take a licking,
but keep right on ticking
By MURRY FRYMER
of TheColumnists.com
These Americans, they are a funny people. They are laid back, well-mannered, except perhaps when sports events are involved.
Right now they are quietly absorbing the news that they have lost considerable parts of their 401-Ks, their IRAs and their comfortable retirement days. No problem. Grandpa will just have to go back to work.
Some Americans have been heard to grumble that it isn't fair that some CEO named Kozlowski used Tyco stockholder funds to furnish his various mansions, buy his fleet of luxury cars and stuff like that. But when Americans grumble, they smile. Damn, heh heh, what those CEOs manage to get away with, huh?
Of course, not all people are as agreeable as Americans. Take a little retirement income from the French and the next thing you know, farmers are spilling their cows' milk in the streets, truckers are lining up their big rigs to stop all traffic and the ladies are refusing sex. We giggle over here at such tactics, but the French politicans don't.
On the whole, American politicians have it easy. The President has proposed putting part of Social Security in the stock market. Given the current free-fall of stock prices, that appears to be insane. But Americans good-naturedly give Mr. Bush his due for getting out of his corporate life with a lot of stock moola, all sold before the inevitable crashes. Heck, he showed Martha Stewart how!
Mr. Cheney, Mr. O'Neil, the administration is full of smart guys who cashed in just in time. Mr. Cheney is in perpetual hiding, but not from the American public who, apparently, do not begrudge him his inside information.
Americans, somehow, have managed to keep spending at the malls. They get new credit cards in the mail every day and max them out every year. Is this a great country or what?
People in my neighborhood are still trading up to more luxurious SUVs, even if some of them are unsure of their jobs and have bid adieu to their stock portfolios. You don't want to show the neighbors that you are cutting back, do you?
Part of this is perennial optimism. The market will come back. It always does. If you had invested your cash in the market in September, 1929, why it was 100 per cent back in the bank by 1954. All you have to do is wait a little. And, as happened between 1929 and 1954, get the little woman working and all the kids, too, and then maybe working a little more. The days of one-earner families go back to "Ozzie and Harriet," sweet nostalgic stuff.
Yes, Americans have learned to roll with the punches. If Mr. Bush attacks Iraq, the flag business will be back in gear, covering every window in every home and the talk show hosts will shake their fists and our 18-year-olds will go off to make the homeland safe for democracy. Song writers are already working on what rhymes with Saddam.
Enron, World Com, Adelphia, Global Crossing and other bankrupcies are setbacks, yes, but there is no used crying over spilt milk. A few bad apples don't spoil the pie, even if those pies are what we had hoped to partake of in our old age. Chin up, buddy. We thought the buck would stop here, in our pockets. It stopped there, in their pockets. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.
Yeah, the Americans are strong, positive people. Where other people riot, we sit by quiet. That's because we know, from watching all the movies, that things usually turn out well and they will again.
God bless America.
© 2002 by Murry Frymer. The Frymer caricature is © 2000 by Jim Hummel. The other illustration is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
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