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for the New Millennium  |
Here's your helpful guide
to the new expressions
By MURRY FRYMER
of TheColumnists.com
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The English language continues to expand and grow more complex with the passing of years. To help our readers cope with the changes, we have asked Murry Frymer to define some of the new terms and expressions in use today, so our communications will be more easily understood. |
New age definitions:
“Investing” A capitalist concept wherein millions
of investors contribute their savings
for the betterment of the top executives of a corporation.
“Executive fraud” A program whereby executives lie
about their corporation for their
financial gain. When such "fraud” is discovered, the
executives retreat to their palatial homes and estates and defer
going to parties for two or three years.
“War” Usually public relations activities
involving drugs or poverty (i.e. war on drugs,
war on poverty) which is meant to imply an active campaign of
opposition,
though there is no longer any agreed definition of the term.
“Freedom crusade” War.
“Traitor” Opponents of freedom crusades.
“Shock and Awe” A form of primping to impress the
media. Also a term used
to describe reactions to corporate malfeasance by investors.
“Health care” A sometimes-organized program to
care for the public welfare, with
benefits ranging from “very substantial” ( primarily
for the wealthy and
members of Congress) to “very insubstantial,” for those
lacking
insurance, wealth, or a seat in Congress.
“E-Mail” Usually advertising or pornographic
appeals. Sometimes refers to jokes, also
pornographic, which are sent by aimless or retired people to
100,000 of their
closest friends.
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We got your name from the Internet and thought you might enjoy buying some of our Greek-style home videos!" |
“Axis of Evil” An American government term referring
to North Korea, Iran and Iraq. The Bush government is currently
updating the nations referred to in the previous sentence. A
new listing is expected, dropping North Korea, Iran and Iraq
and now
including Germany, Canada and France.
“Weapons of Mass Destruction” (or WMD). Refers to a form of armament
which is
considered cause for freedom crusades. They were employed during
the crusade
against Iraq, though not by the Iraqis
"The Democratic Party Opposition" An archaic term, no longer in use.
"Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Michael Moore" The Democratic opposition.
"Embedded" The new journalism whereby reporters are kept close and under observation.
"Enron, Global Crossing, World Com" Axis of evil.
"Confession" A form of absolution practiced by
Roman Catholic parishioners in
consultation with priests.. Priests can, however, receive absolution
without confession.
"The Cable News Networks"
A form of journalism exploring
one and only story,
until a new story is ready.
"The Academy Awards" A modern form of political discourse involving performers.
“Adultery, Incest” Gay life style.
“The Stars and Stripes” Formerly American symbol. Now often
Republican symbol.
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parade marchers from here, Tom, but I'm guessing they're probably Republicans." |
“The United Nations” Refers to 20th Century forum of nations; now largely irrelevant.
“Budget Surplus” Obscure.
©2003
by Murry Frymer. The Frymer
caricature is ©2000 by Jim Hummel. The illustrations are
from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E.,
San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
You
can comment on this column online. Please address your message
to either "The Editors" or Murry Frymer. To send an
email, click here: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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