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But you'd better have some answers handy
of TheColumnists.com
Looking back several
years ago (okay, I'll confess. It was half a century.) when I
was raising my children and often tending aging family members,
they provided me with good text material. Bless them all.
Thar's gold in them thar memories. Well, printers ink anyway.
When sex education was added to the curriculum of most public
schools, many parents were very upset. They had a right to be
concerned -- mostly because their little darlings didn't pay
attention or were unable to create an intelligent question for
the teacher. Their first introduction came about in their pre-teen
years. Of course, when they got into high school, they had questions
galore. Most educators became
perplexed when the boys asked, "What's the best way to
put on a condom?" and the girls asked, "What's
a condom?"
Now I'll ask you, dear reader, "Does ya see what I mean?"
My son, Larry, was 11 and Lela, my daughter, was 9. Larry approached
me with quite a look of confusion. "Mom, I can't remember
the answers to some of these questions. Will you help me?"
(A week earlier this Honor Roll student announced to me, "Mom,
today I learned that Germany is in Europe." My evil
personality tempted me to ask when did it move there, but I didn't.)
"I'll certainly try, honey. Give me the questions."
"Um...uh...'what are the two genders?' What's a gender?"
Before I could come to his rescue, Lela rolled her eyes and informed
him, "Oh, Larry! You're a boy and I'm a girtl. That makes
you a male gender and me a female gender. Remember?"
He purposely ignored her superior attitude, turning again to
me.
"What's my genitals?"
This time I beat Lela to the punch. "Honey, those are
what I told you are your 'private parts.' Genitals and genitalia
are the correct technical names."
"I thought that's what we call
those people who aren't Jewish,"
Lela said. Ah, ha! She wasn't as smart as she thought she was.
"I don't get this one at all. 'Where are a boy's testicles?'
What are testicles?" my poor confused son wanted to
know.
Lela to the rescue! "You know. Grandma calls them your
tentacles."
Maybe you would have argued with such logic. Not me!
Then there were the gifts of clothes their other grandma sent
at Christmas time. She knew their correct sizes. However, being
ever so practical, she bought the next size up, giving them time
to grow into them. Both my children were happy and anxious to
open her presents. Larry was still 11, Lela was still 9 during
the Christmas I remember the best.
"Wow! Grandma's way off in Kansas City and she remembered
I liked last year's red sweater. Look at this one! It's red,
too -- it's my size!" Lela said in genuine joy.
Along came Larry, also in a joyful voice. He held up a pair of
blue corduroy slacks. "Grandma sent me Catholic pants!"
Give a cheer for educators and grandmothers. Our children may
not always understand their teacher. Life and experience will
jog their memories of class room teachings. Fear not, good 'ol
grandma always has the answers, plus she gives great gifts for
both Hanukkah and Christmas.
©2012 by Patricia J. Geister. This column first posted Jan. 9, 2012.
TO ACCESS PATRICIA J. GEISTER'S ARCHIVE OF COLUMNS ON THIS SITE, CLICK HERE: GEISTER ARCHIVE
You
can comment on this column online via our TALKBACK page. Please address your e-mail message
to either "The Editors" or Patricia J. Geister at Syndpack @aol.com
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