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in the Personal Ads: Episode Four Fourth in a Series |
Her job: Fix up an ex-nun
with a datable ex-priest!
of TheColumnists.com
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Patricia J. Geister used to run a dating service through newspaper personal ads. This series recounts some of her most interesting "cases"--with names changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. |
The telephone lines carried many a fascinating narrative to me by equally fascinating narrators whom I will never meet. Heartbreak, hilarity, weirdness; I heard a lot of about those subjects. Very seldom did I hear the same one twice. When I did it made me wonder if celestial forces were funneling them through me in hopes of putting them in touch. You know, like the "hmm…" factor.
A cheerful woman's voice greeted me saying she hoped I'd be up and awake at the early hour of 8 a.m. on that December morning. No, my night owl creative habits had kept me going until 4 a.m. It was 5 a.m. in Seattle, 8 a.m. in her East Coast time zone. She had forgotten the time difference.
"Veronica" called me again in the mid afternoon, cheerful as before. This happy soul had read an article about me and felt that I was the answer to her second much wanted change in lifestyle. Three years previously she had left her 20 year career as a Catholic nun. She had been a nurse, then a teacher in a nurse's college.
That first telephone call and the information she gave me on the questionnaire I sent to clients had clear, definitive data. She felt her time and service had been advantageous to others. That made her proud and useful. Her faith always would be important; however, she became conflicted with doubt. Could she continue blindly following the dogma that forbade her separate choice? Why must she always feel like a second class being that had no mind of its own? Painful though it was, her decision to leave her particular order of nuns finally made her happy.
Veronica had stayed in the medical field and became a hospital administrator. Having been raised in a large family in France, followed by her clerical years, big money was a shock to her. She budgeted her income to suit her basic needs, and then a large portion of the rest went into charities for the elderly.
Life was full, productive and valuable for Veronica. Now another question was before her. Should she form a social, ultimately marital relationship with a man? Could she really do it? That's where she felt that I came in. Did I happen to know a single, understanding man who wanted a woman like her? And, oh, yes, could he be a former priest? Who else could be more supportive than that? No, a man of that category had yet to contact me.
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ex-priest for ex-nun Veronica? |
"May I ask you this? I do not wish to subject myself to curiosity seekers. Never have I been in this situation. I do not know what to do, what to say, to a man for this purpose. During the next year, when such a man approaches you, will you talk to him for me?"
"Yes, of course," I told her. "I'll be happy to keep all your information on hand and if I do hear from a man like this, I'll let you decide if you want to meet him."
"He will come to you. If he wants to find me, he will come to you within the year."
"Do you know something I don't?"
"Yes, I do. I know if he wants me, he will come to you."
About six weeks later I picked up the phone and talked to a man who said he had a situation I may not want to deal with. "Robert" was a psychiatric social worker in a large government hospital back East.
"I'm not the ordinary, run of the mill single man. Two years ago I left a long term relationship I had expected to last forever. The relationship I mean was my life as a Catholic priest. Do you think you could work with a former priest?" I didn't believe my ears.
Robert told me would certainly understand if I wanted to end our conversation right there. Oh, no, I wanted to hear more. I asked him to share whatever he wanted to over the phone, and if we decided to go forward, he'd have to fill out my questionnaire.
This man had been a high school math teacher in the Catholic private school system. A few years of that became frustrating. He asked for and got more education in the field of psychology, psychiatry and social work. From there he worked in a church- sponsored social service agency.
His mindset of living and working with "the civilians of the world" wandered away from church rules and regulations, so to speak. Life in the raw changed his mind about celibacy and marriage. Turmoil, doubt, and disappointment in his life and future plagued him into a serious resolution. In the end, he felt that God needed him outside the confines of the church.
I asked his permission to share some of his information with a woman client whose background and future plans were very similar. Veronica, of course, was the client. Yes, if I could do the same for him, he'd like that. No names or states of residence were given to them in the beginning. Each was sent a sketch of social and professional history, ages, with a few of their hopes and wishes. I left it up to them how they would make first contact or meet, if that's what they wanted to do. She called me a week later, cheerful as ever, very interested in meeting Robert. He called me a day later, his usual reserved self, asking when he could meet Veronica.
Destiny comes in many forms, many ways. Veronica and Robert lived within two hundred miles of each other. Robert had a sideline of psychology workshops for private industry and professional organizations. He often traveled on weekends for his business. My suggestion they agreed to was that, knowing he already had her city on his business schedule, was they should meet there.
How I wanted to be a fly on the wall when they did meet! Two nervous, maybe a little giddy, amateurs in the singles world, anxious to get past the introduction stage. All went well for them, I'm happy to say. Six months, and I don't know how many dates later, I got another one of Veronica's cheerful, early morning calls. The sound of her excitement made me think I was talking to a French teenager.
"Row-bear (the French pronunciation, you know) and I want to really get better acquainted before we make any big decisions. We would not want to mistake the physical attraction--how you say…lust, I think--for love. This is all so new, so delirious for us."
He wrote me a kind letter to thank me for being their conduit. The reserved Robert had begun to loosen up a bit. Well, good for them both. His description of her was, "…and she's so French! She says we're something out of a love story. For me, the story is about love found by two total opposites. I am the studious one who wants to map out life, step by step. Veronica is my butterfly, my beautiful butterfly. With her help, I'll emerge from my cocoon."
Eventually the butterfly and her intellectual partner took a brave step forward. Robert found a rewarding social services position in one of the larger hospitals in Veronica's city. Still the reserved one at heart, he wanted them to "do the modern thing" and live together for a time, hoping they would then marry. His cheerful, French butterfly thought it was a delicious idea. Yes, delicious was her description. Vive la France!
© 2002 by Patricia J. Geister. The illustrations are from
IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San
Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
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