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It had all the elements
of a major June disaster
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In honor of June, the favorite month for weddings, Patricia J. Geister dips into her memory book as a one-time wedding photographer and comes up with some strange stories. |
of TheColumnists.com
The day started beautifully; blue sky, mildly warm,
flowers at their peak. Everyone in the bridal party was
laughing and cheerful.
"Do you like this pink carnation, or would you prefer the
pink rose?" the bride asked me. I thanked her and
chose the carnation.
"Aunt Wanda, you said I could have that," protested
the little flower girl.
"Oh, well, then. You can have it," I said and
gave her the carnation.
"Pardon me. May I
speak to whoever's in charge of the supplies for the reception?"
This was Miss Informed, the woman in charge of the church kitchen
staff. "When will the food and beverages be arriving?"
"You were told to order those things. Who did you hire?"
answered Miss Fit, the wedding coordinator.
"No, I was told the family was providing everything.
We have nothing and it's past time to start getting
ready for the reception. The cake isn't even here."
"Oh, no! Mom, can you handle this?" The
bride was flustered.
The mother of the bride, Mrs. Doe, turned to the wedding
coordinator, "Miss Fit, what's going on here? This
is your job, I'm sure."
Now we've got four flustered females, no wedding cake, no
food or drink, and a wedding that's due to begin in less than an
hour.
"Grandma, I don't
like this basket," whined the flower girl.
Make that five flustered females.
"The flower basket is fine. Go sit over there and be
good. Miss Fit, get this situation fixed, please.
Look at the time, for heaven's sake."
"There's a super market six blocks from here if worse comes
to worse," suggested Miss Informed.
The bride was slumped in
a chair. "I don't need this today. Everything is
supposed to be perfect."
"Let me go to the kitchen and get things started,"
Miss Fit said.
"I don't think you'll be needing me here for a while. I'll come back," I said--and out the door I went.
There's always an air of anticipation and excitement before a wedding. Everything becomes exaggerated and emphasized more than it should be. Details become desperation. Minor turns into major.
A handsome, dignified man in a navy blue suit approached. Behind him was a beautiful woman, very tense. This pair turned out to be the father of the bride and his much younger wife. "Tell me where to find my daughter" he asked Miss Fit.
At that very instant the
door opened and Mrs. Doe the first said to Mr. Doe, "John,
come here. We've got a serious problem that you've got
to fix in a hurry."
Mr. Doe approached, the new Mrs. Doe right along with him.
"No, John, not her. You come here!" Young Mrs.
Doe stopped in her tracks.
"The food wasn't ordered, the cake hasn't been delivered, and I want you to take care of it."
"Of course."
and he did. Billfold in hand, he directed, "Miss Fit, you'll
find my son, Douglas, near the front door. Give him this
money, tell him what you need and send him wherever is the closest
and best. Miss Informed, take me to the nearest telephone
so I can call the bakery."
"Thank you, John," said Mrs. Doe, disappearing behind
a closed door.
And away they went to carry out their orders, Daddy Doe in command.
Mrs. Doe the second and I looked at each other. "I wish I had never come here. Wanda doesn't like me, that woman (meaning Mrs. Doe the first) can't stand the sight of me," her shaky voice fading almost into tears.
"Don't let it get you down, honey. Let me take you into another room where you can sit and relax."
"Relax? I want to go home!"
Another younger woman came toward us. "Hi, there. Which room is Wanda in? I'd like to say a quick hello."
"Rita? I'm Lola, remember?" Mrs. Doe the second asked (would you believe?) the groom's stepmother, Mrs. Lucky the second.
"Oh, yes, of course. How are you?"
"Rita..." and the tears began. Lola and Rita rushed into each others' arms.
Around the corner came another woman who knew exactly where she was going, asked no questions, completely oblivious to anyone else. She opened the door without knocking, never speaking a word. Later I found out she was Mrs. Lucky the first.
"I'm outta here," I told myself, and I made my exit as Rita and Lola embraced and held on.
Wanda's groom had declined to have any photos taken of him or his group before the ceremony. I had plenty to do with lots of time now to do it. All the available light checks, best place to shoot the actual wedding vows, were done and made ready. Daddy Doe and his troops had saved the day in the kitchen. The cake arrived late, thanks to a newly hired delivery person. In all the confusion, nobody noticed it was the wrong cake until the reception. By that time, nobody cared.
The flower girl decided she liked her flower basket after all. I took a prize photo of her throwing the rose petals like grenades, rather than strewing them softly to make a path for the bride. Mrs. Doe the first and Mrs. Lucky the first smiled brightly as they were led to their places. Mrs. Doe the second and Mrs. Lucky the second sat demurely beside their husbands A lovely bride and a happy groom met at the altar and became husband and wife.
None of the guests suspected a thing. All's well that ends well. However, when it came time for the groom to feed the bride a bite of cake and he smeared it all over her chin, I had my doubts. Everyone gasped. A moment of silence went by. Our bride laughed, our groom said, "I'm sorry. It slipped out of my hand."
Love those June weddings!
©2004 by Patricia
J. Geister. The drawing is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection,
1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
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