INTRODUCING PROF.  GORDON GREB

The Deja Vu Theatre

BY GORDON GREB of TheColumnists.com

Next time you see “Casablanca,” you’ll notice how director Michael Curtiz grabs your attention right away. After the opening Warner Brothers’ logo, he places the movie’s title directly over a large map of Africa, adds the emotional tug of Max Steiner’s music, then gives us the names of his stars--Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman--in giant letters. You can bet nobody walked out of this Oscar-winning l942 wartime movie once it got started. This got me to thinking, “Could a writer start a column the same way?” If you’re willing to be part of this experiment, please join me in saying, “Lights, Camera, and Action” and let’s get this movie on its way.

AND NOW OUR FEATURE ATTRACTION: GORDON & DARLENE GO TO EUROPE A Romantic Journey With Astaire & Rogers Lookalikes On the QE2 PLUS The Eyes and Ears of the World Are On D-DAY LANDINGS IN NORMANDY and selected short subjects

If you’ve seen H.G. Wells’ “Time Machine” or Steven Spielberg’s “Back to the Future,” you’ll begin to understand why my wife Darlene and I felt like time travellers as we revisited Europe last summer nearly 60 years after the end of World War II. Although we couldn’t go to Casablanca--where Roosevelt and Churchill met during the war in North Africa--we did spend three-weeks trying to see people and places that made headlines during the war. When victory was won in Europe, most American GIs returned home by troop ship. We didn’t do that. We took a seven-day cruise around the British Isles on the Queen Elizabeth 2. We boarded in Southamption and went to our quarters. How was it? Absolutely wonderful. Yes, we bought the cheapest cabin (inside) on the lowest deck (No. 5) but it's only where you sleep, so who cares? Since the QE2 televises a constant picture of where it's heading right into your stateroom, using a TV camera mounted on the bow, that was all we needed to feel as if we had our own "inside porthole" giving us a private view of our sea voyage. Perhaps you’ve heard of Mrs. Mueller, who lives practically all year long on the Queen Elizabeth? Well, she really exists--and she chose to dine in the Mauritania dining room, which was ours. Her husband died on a round-the-world cruise, so she decided to stay on board forever--getting off only now and then to visit her children. What a gal! We ate fabulous meals, broke all the rules of dieting, and "dressed up" twice, just like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers would have done in "Follow the Fleet." What they call "casual attire" meant coat and tie for the men at all times. I've seen nothing like this since the l940s. We got off at first docking and aimed for Liverpool’s World War II museum. As we walked around, we were amazed at how the old port area had been upgraded into a park-like setting with a variety of public museums. As the sun was out and it was a bank holiday, the place was jammed with locals and their kids. Liverpool was a major port in Great Britain, so German bombers hit it hard in World War II. But nothing of that destructive aftermath can be seen today. Since my English ancestors sailed for America from Liverpool, it was educational to visit the Emigrant Museum and learn how they managed to do it. In 1840, it took up to four weeks for an Atlantic-crossing and your passage cost five pounds sterling. Of course, that was a lot of money in those days, maybe $50 American. But overseas was the Land of Opportunity. So off they went!    Highlight of the cruise was the day we spent in Normandy on June 4th, signing up for the bus tour to all the historic places. Soldiers were everywhere and, amazingly enough, there were World War II Army vehicles driven by young men in 1940s-type American uniforms. They looked like my guys 60 years ago, except they were French. Deja vu! Where had I seen this before? With President Bush, Prime Minister Tony Blair and other bigwigs coming, there were plenty of present-day U.S. Army troops there, too. I bought a souvenir cap of the 82nd Airborne Division with the date June 6, 1944, which earned me recognition as a veteran of WWII, even though I served in the 102nd Infantry Division. This cap gave me lots of nods of approval, handshakes and smilies from the French. Of course, Darlene and I visited the U.S. military cemetery to pay our respects to our fallen heroes and walked amongst the grave sites, noting names of kids who died here as young as 18. As we were doing this, U.S. soldiers began taking down the American flag at 5 o'clock and a bugler played taps. We halted, stood at attention, and bowed our heads. Surely a tear or two was shed at this moment even by the most hardened veteran. One of them was me. Normandy was ablaze with flags--American, British and French--to welcome the veterans coming for the 60th anniversary of D-Day. Not only in towns and villages but also on the houses or the front lawns and gardens. Whatever Bush says about the French, they are our true friends in Normandy and they still remember what the Yanks did in WWII to free them from the Nazi tyranny. Next day we docked at Southampton and took the train to London, where we visited old friends, saw an opera ("Barber of Seville"), a concert (London Philharmonic in Royal Festival Hall) and a stage play ("Democracy"). We also had time to visit sites filled with memories of World War II. One near Parliament Square was a well-kept secret during the war. Germany knew nothing about the Cabinet War Rooms where the prime minister and his staff worked and lived underground while London was being bombed night after night during the blitz. But these chambers are now open to the public. The other is Churchill’s beautiful home at Chartwell, where a cigar in his ashtray makes you expect the old man will turn up any minute. We got there courtesy of friends, who drove us through the lovely countryside of Kent, where warrior Churchill growled “This is what we are fighting for” during the war. In London our hotel was at Swiss Cottage, ideally located in a relatively quiet neighborhood near the convenient Jubilee Line. While Darlene and I had called this "Our Last Hurrah," it wouldn’t take much of a push to get us going again. All we need is continued good health and a Guardian Angel to insure there are no surprises or glitches to spoil anything. When it came time to leave, we flew home aboard a United 777 jumbo jet. On board Darlene was ticketed for Business Class but she persuaded the flight crew to let us trade seats once we were airborne. I offered to trade back, but Darlene--being a good scout and knowing how hard it was for me to get comfortable with my long legs--elected to stay in Economy and let me pretend to be an English aristocrat all the way to San Francisco. When we finally got home, it took us weeks to recover from jet lag, pay the bills, save the garden and lawns from neglect, and get ready for our next trip--240 miles north to Mt. Shasta to see our grandchildren. While we regretted all the money and memories we had to leave behind, we did return with great big smiles. Look! I’m grinning now! CLOSEUP OF “THE END” over front yard dried grass. SOUND: Theme music during closing credits. (Upstairs stop projector and light the house.) “That’s all, folks! Tickets are on sale at the box office for next week’s movie. You won’t want to miss the next feature--THE MAN WITH NO NAME--coming soon to your Deja Vu Theatre.”

©2004 by Gordon Greb. The illustrations are cobbled together from various sources, including Warner Bros. "Casablanca" and RKO's "Shall We Dance."

ABOUT GORDON GREB

Prof. Gordon Greb holds an honorary degree from the London Institute of Applied Research for humorous writing, but he says he doesn't like to be called "Doc" for fear he'll be called upon to deliver a baby in an emergency situation some day. He was a reporter and editor for newspapers, then became a radio and television newsman, working for ABC, CBS and NBC, before joining the faculty at San Jose State University. His peers named him a "distinguished broadcast educator" during his 35 years there. (He's now an SJSU emeritus professor.) He's the co-author of "Charles Herrold: Inventor of Radio Broadcasting" (McFarland, 2003) and a noted civil libertarian whose research helped the U.S. Supreme Court overturn movie censorship in 1952 with the crucial case, Burstyn v. Wilson, et al. He now calls himself "a recovering academic" that former student Gerald Nachman said, in a recent Newsweek article, is "much funnier and hip" today, in his 80s, than he was in college. He's welcomed to TheColumnists by former students Gerald Nachman, Ron Miller, Michael Johnson, Joyce Kiefer, Elias Castillo and Joanne Engelhardt.

Why, it's our London correspondent Michael Johnson, left, having a drink with The Professor in a London pub earlier this year. Michael is one of several renowned columnists who studied with Prof. Greb.

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