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with the help of his wife, DARLENE GREB |
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"I can't remember what we did last Christmas." |
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"You think that's bad? I can't remember who you are and why I'm letting you ply me with wine!" |
It was a very good year!
Ah, we remember it well!
By PROF. GORDON GREB
of TheColumnists.com
with Darlene Greb
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This is the annual Christmas "letter" sent by Gordon and Darlene Greb to their friends and relatives. Though the Grebs are a vigorous and vital senior couple, they insist this represents a typical "day in the life" of the Grebs. |
What have we been doing this year?
Don’t ask. Here’s the timeline from our day book:
6:00 a.m.: Bedside radio awakens Gordon
and the cat with NPR news.
7:00 a.m.: Darlene opens one eye, squints at sunlight and turns
over.
7:30 a.m.: Maybe one of us gets up. Spends half-hour taking pills.
8:00 a.m.: If anyone is up and awake, we have breakfast, and
read the paper.
10:00 a.m.: Finished reading but now very sleepy. Can we go back
to bed?
11:00 a.m.: We trudge around still awake due to a barking dog,
garbage man, etc.
12 Noon: Hey! It’s lunchtime. Whoever is hungriest has to
fix it. Flip a coin.
1:00 p.m.: Someone needs to shop for more food. “You pay,
I’ll drive.”
2:00 p.m.: Big pile of mail arrives–all advertising–not
one First Class letter.
3:00 p.m.: What’s the world news? Tune on BBC America, CNN,
something!!!
4:00 p.m.: News or something made us sick. Take a Pepcid, TUM,
anything!
5:00 p.m.: Didn’t anyone feed the cat? She’s clawing
up our sofa she’s so mad.
6:00 p.m.: Catastrophe. No TV dinners in fridge. Somebody phone
for a pizza.
7:00 p.m.: Jim Lehrer on PBS calms us down as everything OK (the
experts say).
8:00 p.m.: On Turner Classic Movies, “Is Mickey Rooney the
only onr left alive?”
9:00 p.m.: PBS Pledge Drive interrupted by telemarketers phoning
us for money.
10:00 p.m.: What an exhausting day! Let’s go to bed, We
need rest.
11:00 p.m.: On 10 o’clock news everything’s terrible
and now we’re wide awake!
12:00 a.m.: “Are you still awake?”
1:00 a.m.: “Yes, are you?”
2:00 a.m.: “Maybe we should throw off a blanket?”
3:00 a.m.: “That didn’t work. Now I’m cold.”
4:00 a.m.: Asleep at last but phone rings. “Sorry, wrong
number.”
5:00 a.m.: Snoring. Hard kick. Snoring stops.
6:00 a.m.: “Good Morning from NPR... Baghdad – Bush
says stay the course –"
MERRY CHIRSTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
©2006 by Gordon Greb. The illustration is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted Dec, 18, 2006.
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