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The following dispatch was received during the past week from our hardiest correspondent, poet laureate Paul Hertelendy, who has hiked the snowcapped Andes and swapped music criticism anecdotes with tuneful monks in abominable areas of the Himalayas, as well as the Hermalayas. And, by the way, he survived his snowbound ordeal before he had to pop any of his younger, more succulent relatives into a cooking pot. |
Dateline Dec. 31, 2002
Arctic-style report from Our Abominable Snow Correspondent
We're up in the High Sierra, in rented mountain cottage, near (HAH!) ski resorts. Came up Friday. Saturday night we got a 27-inch snowfall. Night before last, another 13 inches. Our VW won't go 10 feet in the street without skidding another 100. We saw three cars skid down the hill within five minutes and finish at 90 degrees to road---two of them with chains! It's a new maneuver ideal for the Olympics Games: Getting pummeled, with a half twist, and a sliding dismount.
The gov't no longer puts down salt and sand on the roads, even though ours is as steep as Dover's cliffs, because the runoff disturbs the Lake Tahoe water content.
In the future, I'll take out ads about the glories of High Sierra skiing with a grain of salt... Lots of it, in fact....
On New Year's Eve, no one could go skiing because of the weather and closures. (We had 14 in the cabin!) Ah, how we all yearn for the sunny beaches of Seattle and Sitka!!! And we aren't even eligible for Northern Lights for aesthetic recompense........
Net result of 27 inches of snowfall plus another 13 inches: Backache
shoveling, sooner or later!
But we do have a great snowman on the terrace, built by some
little kids, with slices of carrots and radishes, plus icicles
for arms....
Am here with our three kids, several of their friends, and two
sisters-in-law and their families (No outlaw, I get along very
well with all the in-laws).
I'm hoping for thaw in early 2003 so we can get past Donner Lake---site
of the famous Donner Party cannibals of 150 years ago---and past
Donner Pass, the only passage across the mts. without a 600-mi.
detour........
Hope you are all well, sober, and resolution-obsessed!
Happy New Year, which for you is passe, and ours still lurking in the wings, beyond that abominable snowman, coming whenever the Pony Express brings the first calendars.......
Oh, yeah, they tell me
that bears and coyotes still roam around this suburbia near Lake
Tahoe at night. Don't they know when it's hibernation/sleep bedtime??????
A husky with a scary wolf-like look came over this morning to
lick our snowman and slurp up the radishes and carrots--I'm
not making this up!---and afterwards stuck around long enough
to lick every nearby hand. A sheep in wolf's clothing?
Hasta la vista,
Paul H.
P.S. from Jan. 2---At 6:30 a.m. awakened by loud noises and gnawing
at the garbage cans outside. Aha, at last, the wild animals!
Sabertooth tiger, the Mammoth, a humungous marsupial! I pulled
up the shade and saw a big black form. A bear, of course!
No such luck. A huge black labrador retriever, getting an extra
breakfast. He's very domesticated, and rode up here from Marin
County in an SUV.
There goes my image of the wild, untamed Sierra, and us wrestling
with the Yeti left by space aliens in the endless drifts.....
Ah, but I'm drifting. A time to sign off..... Brrrrrrrr!
© 2003 by Paul Hertelendy. The illustrations are from IMSI's
Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael,
CA, 94901-5506, USA.
None of
his colleagues at TheColumnists.com worried about Hertelendy's
survival. He wears a headband (see photo above), which means
he's as tough as Rambo and can handle any crisis with aplomb,
whatever that is.
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