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STAN ISAACS Really Out
of Left Field This Time! |
What's Wrong With This Picture?
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ANSWER: Those Grahams Really Need Lots of That Chocolate
By
STAN ISAACS
of TheColumnists.com
I AM in shock. I learned the other day that I am not able to
buy dark chocolate-covered Graham crackers anymore. Nabisco dark
chocolate graham crackers, that is.
It took me a while to grasp what had happened. For some time
when I looked for Nabisco's chocolate-covered Grahams on the
super market shelf, and didn't find them, I figured that they
were so good and so popular they were gobbled up before I had
a
chance at them. A few times I asked the people at the service
desk why they weren't in stock and I got some heming and hawing.
I could see that the clerk didn't know and didn't really care.
The fool probably was more concerned about the price of heating
oil.
I kept looking without success--to the point of trying another
brand. I bought a package of Keebler's chocolate-covered Grahams.
Only once. They were no match for Nabisco's. Keeblers covers
its Graham crackers with milk chocolate. Chocolate freaks like
me always opt for dark chocolate.
Then, the other day a clerk at the King Kullen in Mineola, New
York, pointed to a man stocking shelves down the cookie aisle.
"Ask him," she said, "he's the Nabisco man."
The Nabisco man! I rushed over.
"I would like to buy some of your chocolate Graham crackers,"
I said.
He said, "They are over there."
Wow. I zipped over to where he pointed. I didn't see any.
"Over there," he said and, with a look of disgust,
pulled from the bottom shelf a box of Nabisco Graham crackers.
"No, " I said, "Chocolate-covered Grahams."
"Those? We stopped making them two years ago."
"That couldn't be."
A look of disgust darkened his face.
"Two years ago," he said, and went back to stocking
the shelf with Saltines.
"There's nothing better than those Nabisco chocolate-covered
Graham cookies," I said. "In our house you have to
fight for chocolate-Grahams. When you buy a package they are
gone within five minutes anytime they are opened. That happens
only with chocolate Grahams--and with Mallomars."
He kept on stocking Saltines.
I told him that sometimes I would buy them and not tell anybody
in the house that we had them. I would hide them in a drawer
and eat them in secret. Even then they wouldn't last through
the day.
"How could Nabisco possibly stop making them?"
He didn't answer. He probably didn't know. And he didn't care.
A sudden thought hit me. "They aren't thinking of stopping
Mallomars, too, are they?"
He kept stocking Saltines. If he were at all sympatico I might
have asked him something that long has bothered me. Mallomars
are so delicious, why do they have a name like "Mallomars"
when the first three letters, "mal," mean bad in French?
I TOOK my plea to the source. I called the Nabisco people at
1-800-622-4726 in East Hanover, New Jersey.
It took me several different button clicks, naturally, before
I finally was connected with the appropriate department. The
woman was cordial.
"No, there was no mistake," she said. "It was
a marketing decsion. We were not getting enough calls for those
Grahams."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
Suddenly the voice lost some of its cordiality.
"Yes, I'm sure."
End of conversation.
Not the end of my campaign. I have e-mailed friends and relatives.
Most were surprised that Nabisco dark chocolate covered Grahams
were no more.
"No wonder I couldn't get them," said my friend Peter.
"It's a damn shame."
A campaign was begun. Friends and relatives have been sending
e-mail messages to Nabisco. So far no success. Nabisco has been
answering, "Unfortunately, overall
consumer response to Chocolate Graham Crackers was not as favorable
as yours and we had no choice but to suspend production indefinitely.
We are always reluctant" blah blah blah.
But they add, "We can assure you that our sales distribution
personnel will continue to monitor the level of interest in Chocolate
Grahams Crackers."
I THINK I can live with the price of heating oil. And I'll load
up on Mallomars for fear of any so-called "lack of consumer"
in that direction. But nothing, I fear, is going to make up for
the loss of those dark chocolate-covered Graham crackers. This
then is a call to arms of champions of (dark) chocolate across
the land to rally to a worthy cause. The online address is www.nabisco.com.
And click onto "contact us."
© 2001 by Stan Isaacs.
The Nabisco image is from the Nabisco website. The chocolate
image isn't (obviously). It's from IMSI's Master/Clips Collection,
1895 Francisco Blvd. East, San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
You
can comment on this column or contact Stan Isaacs with an email
to: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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