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Out of Left Field |
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WHILE DOING A PLAYOFF WEEKEND |
------"STAN-LEY,
IF YOU WATCH ONE MORE FOOTBALL GAME THIS WEEKEND, I'M DECLQRING YOU LEGALLY DEAD!!!"  |
Footballs can take some funny bounces out of my TV
By STAN ISAACS
of TheColumnists.com
Musings of a Football Playoff Armchair Spectator, Or, why has my wife put up a refrigerator magnet that says, “If a man watches two football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”?
I didn’t watch just two football games in a row during the second round of the Super Bowl tournament. Like many red-blooded American males (and perhaps some females, too) I watched a pair of games on Saturday and two more on Sunday. Call me “Legally Dead”--yet invigorated by some rip-roaring, suspenseful, unpredictable happenings. It happens every year.
First, some satisfaction came out of a pet peeve of mine. As astute CBS analyst Phil Simms said during the Denver victory over New England, “the greatest advantage in sports is the home field in the playoffs.” The home fans know they are a factor so they come to the arena ready to raise a ruckus to disrupt the play-calling of the visitors.
In Seattle, the citizens go so far as to declare themselves the 12th man. So much so that a 12th man flag was raised over the end zone by none other than Seattle Seahawk Ken Hamlin, who was inactive this season because he suffered injuries from being beaten in a fight in a night club.
One has to accept that the fans will yell their heads off to help their home team. But I don’t accept that players or coaches should be allowed to encourage them to do that. But this--grrrr!--is permitted by the league. And over the weekend in games in Seattle, Denver and Indianapolis, I noted only one player who resorted to exhorting the home crowd to disrupt the opposition. That was Indianapolis kicker Mike Vanderjagt waving a towel at the fans.
And it so happened that the thrilling Indianapolis-Pittsburgh game came down to a finish in which Vanderjagt was in position to tie the game and send it into overtime. With Pittsburgh leading, 21-18, Vanderjagt attempted a 46-yerd field goal in the last minute. He missed.
Maybe he expended too much energy waving that towel.
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On such a weekend I spend more time in the company of the various network voices than I do with my wife. In the course of a season there are six leading combinations coming out of the tube. I rate the announcing teams in this order: 1. Phil Simms and Jim Nance of CBS; 2. John Madden and Al Michaels, ABC Monday Night football; 3. Dan Dierdorf and Dick Enberg, CBS; 4. Dick Stockton, Moose Johnson and Tony Siragusa, Fox; 5. Troy Aikman and Joe Buck, Fox; and 6. Joe Theismann, Paul Maguire and Mike Patrick, ESPN Sunday Night football.
Simms is an exceedingly nice guy and it comes across on the tube. He is perceptive and Nance is an unobtrusive partner who lets Simms carry the commentary. Simms is sharp about quarterback issues, but like Madden, he sees line play. Madden has long been the dominant force in pro football announcing, but he isn’t given his head by Michaels, a man with an ego of his own. Michaels too often tries to top his partner and doesn’t set Madden up for tomfoolery that used to complement so well his keen analysis. Three voices in the ESPN booth are too much, particularly when Maguire is so predictable about saying, “that was a great block by …..”
Enberg is likeable and workmanlike, a good
partner. Dierdorfer is a chuckler and perceptive though I don’t
like his terming a helmet a “hat.” Hats don’t
bruise an opponent the way a crushing hit with a helmet does.
Stockton and Johnson are also workmanlike and Siragusa occasionally
adds a comic touch. Buck is overbearing and Aikman isn’t
the sharpest mind on the air, nor does his grammar inspire any
compliments. Too many announcers have to be taught not to substitute
“good” for “well” in their usage.
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All the pre-game guys have a great time laughing with each other. They have fun, but I don’t when I am exposed to them in the few moments I hear them before games start….I am relieved, though, that the CBS pre-game guys all sport American flags on their lapels; it is a relief to know they are on our side…And I wonder if there is something subversive in the General Motors commercial saying: “Chevrolet: an American Revolution.”’
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It took a long
time for instant replay to be adopted for good by the National
Football League. That, alas, hasn’t worked as well as it
should because officials still screw up interpretations of what
they see on instant replays of controversial plays. In key situations
in round two of the playoffs, officials blew it by calling pass
interference against New England; another set of officials blew
it by NOT calling pass interference against Indinapolis; and
the same crew questionably overturned an interception by Pittsburgh
that could have--but, luckily--didn’t cost the Steelers
the game.
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I liked Indianapolis
defender Dwight Feeney describing himself as “a wildflower
in a field of daisies.”…I liked Enberg coining the
term, Blitzburg Steelers, when they went to the blitz to harass
Colts quarterback Peyton Manning …I liked sideline reporter
Bonnie Bernstein reporting the desperate exhortation of New England’s
Richard Seymour to his teammates: “We have to play with
heart.”…The most stunning replay seen in a long time:
an overhead shot by the CBS people of New England’s Ben
Watson coming from way back, running all across the field to
tackle Denver’s Champ Bailey on the one-yard line after
an almost 100-yard interception run.
©2006 by Stan Isaacs. The Stan Isaacs caricature is ©2001
by Jim Hummel. This column first posted Jan. 16, 2006.
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