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OUT OF LEFT FIELD |
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in the Right Mouths
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Great quotes Hollywood
really meant for sports
of TheColumnists.com
Clyde Haberman of the New York Times is one of the all-time best metropolitan columnists. I am indebted to him for this week’s columnists.com effort. After New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg declared, “I am what I am,” Haberman likened it to Popeye’s “I yam what I yam” and took off on other noted movie lines, applying them to people in the news.
With the American Film Institute’s list of the “Top 100 Movie Quotes,” as a source, I have applied some of the quotes to sports people past and present.
Quote No. 100, from “Titanic”: “I’m the king of the world” best applies to the one and only Tiger Woods.
No. 97, from “Yankee Doodle Dandy”: “My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you. And I thank you” could have been coined by either of the tennis Williams sisters.
No. 95, from “Dead Poets Society”: “Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys” would be on the lips of Penn State football coach Joe Paterno-or just about any other football or basketball coach.
No. 94, from “Top Gun”: “I feel the need-the need for speed” captures Jesse Owens, fabulous four-gold-medal winner at the 1936 Olympic Games.
No. 91, “Who’s on First,” the famous Abbott & Costello line, would be just right for Casey Stengel, sometimes a bit fuzzy, but rarely outsmarted.
No. 89, from “Knute Rockne All American”: “Tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper” was adopted and used to a fare-thee-well by actor, President Ronald Reagan, who played George Gipp in the movie.
No. 81, “Hello, gorgeous,” spoken by Barbra Streisand in “Funny Girl” is just the kind of pre-match line Bobby Riggs might have thrown at Billie Jean King to psych her out before their celebrated “Battle of the Sexes” match in 1973.
No. 75, from “A Streetcar Named Desire”: “I have always depended on the kindess of
strangers.” The awful reverse of that applies to Monica
Seles, whose fine career as a top tennis player was gutted by
a knife attack from a stranger rushing out of the stands.
No. 73, from “Little
Caesar”: “Mother of mercy,
is this the end of Rico?” could have been uttered by
baseballer Rico Carty when his 15-year major league career ended
in 1979.
No. 71 from “The Jazz Singer”: “Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain’t heard nothin’ yet” applies to one of football analyst John Madden’s riffs.
No. 64, from “Dr. Strangelove”: “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room” might apply to the intense behind-the-scenes action of teams at the pro football draft.
No. 62, from “Beyond the Forest": “What a dump.” My verdict upon visiting the Mets’ Shea Stadium on its first Opening Day.
No. 60, from “Sons of the Desert”: “Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into” captures the agony of Mets managers Willie Randolph and Jerry Manuel as they blew late-season leads the last two seasons.
No. 57 from “Wall Street”: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” Who else but the many grasping agents of big-time athletes?
No. 56, from “Psycho": “A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Former tennis player Michael Chang’s mother tucked in his shirt while he was answering questions at a press conference.
No. 54, from “A League of Their Own”: “There’s no crying in baseball.” Tom Hanks, loosely modeled after Jimmy Foxx, uttered that line, and it was a shame how Foxx wound up as a struggling alcoholic.
No. 53, from “Animal Crackers”: “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know” is the kind of non-sequitur former owner Bill Veeck might have thrown out just to spice up a press conference.
No. 48, from “Some Like it Hot”: “Well nobody’s perfect” fits troublemaker Terrell Owens.
No 43, from “Casablanca”: “We’ll always have Paris” was a consolation for opponents of Pete Sampras and Roger Federer, who couldn’t win on the clay courts of the French Championships.
No. 39, from “Field of Dreams":
“If you build it he will come.” Change that
to “they will come” and it applies to all the new,
Xanadu stadiums built by moguls now crossing their fingers in
the face of the fallen economy.
No. 38, from “The
Pride of the Yankees”: "Today
I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth."
Christy Walsh wrote it for Lou Gehrig and Gary Cooper said it
in the movie.
No. 37, from “The Terminator”: “I’ll be back.” Who knows if Brett Favre is re-thinking his latest retirement.
No. 36, from “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!” I thought this line the several times as an apple-cheeked, young scribe my credentials were questioned at press gates.
No. 30, from “Grand Hotel”: “I want to be alone.” Mark McGuire, now that he wears the black mark of “D” for druggie.
No. 28, from “Casablanca”: “Play it Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By.’ ” Ball park organists should play this whenever 45-year-old Randy Johnson pitches.
No. 26, from “She Done Him Wrong”: “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” Sir Edmund Hillary could have addressed this to the world when he and Tenzing Norgay reached the top of Mt. Everest in 1953.
No. 23, from “The Wizard of Oz”: “There’s no place like home.” The mantra of Phils’ home-run slugger Ryan Howard.
No. 20, from “Casablanca”: “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” What Max Schmeling might have said to Joe Louis describing their friendship following their celebrated second fight in 1938.
No. 18, from “White Heat”: “Made it, ma. Top of the world.” Manager Charley Manuel after the Phillies won the World Series last year.
No. 14, from “The Maltese Falcon”:
“The stuff that dreams are made of.” Chicago
fans thinking of the Cubbies overcoming a 100-year-old plus World
Series championship drought.
No. 11, from “Cool
Hand Luke”: “What we’ve
got here is failure to communicate.” Denver Broncos
quarterback Jay Cutler and coach Josh McDaniels are feuding.
No. 8, from “Star Wars Episode IV”: “May the force be with you." Would that some extra-terrestrial factor would intervene to help the pathetic Pittsburgh Pirates.
No. 3, from “On the Waterfront”: “I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.” The line applies to Mike Tyson even though he was a champion.
No. 2, from “The Godfather”: “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” What Los Angeles owner Frank McCourt did to get quirky Manny Ramirez to re-sign with the Dodgers.
And No. 1, from “Gone with the Wind”: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Barry Bonds' attitude toward the world.
©2009 by Stan Isaacs. The Stan Isaacs caricature is ©2001 by Jim Hummel. The photo of Mike Tyson is courtesy of NBC Sports/MSNBC. This column first posted March 30, 2009.
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