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TIGER NOT DISGRACED BY LOSS  TIGER WOODS ...finishes fourth in Masters |
Mickelson and Woods
Overcame Payne Pain
of TheColumnists.com
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without
being good at them.
…Jimmy Demerat
This was the 2010
Masters golf tournament: Phil Mickelson, yes; Tiger Woods, yes:
Billy Payne, Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Payne, the chairman of that bastion of snootyism, the Augusta National Golf Club, inserted himself into the Masters dialogue with an ill-timed rebuke of Tiger Woods for his behavior--about which that he has been baring his breast with apologies the past few months.
Mickelson’s victory will enrich the annals of golf. Upon reflection, Woods will be given credit for a fourth place finish after a long layoff and the ordeal of being under a microscope resulting from his public humiliation as a philanderer with no great taste in bimbos.
But it was Payne’s hypocrisy that left a stench which, in its way, carries more significance in the scheme of things beyond eagles, birdies, pars and, oh yes, the exalted Masters green jackets. Payne had the gall to lecture Woods from the club that long did not admit blacks and which still does not have a female member. Worse, it glories in its successful bids to ward off any attempts by women to crack the hallowed membership rolls of the organization dominated by members of corporate America.
The word to Payne is: Who asked you?
It’s good sportsmanship
to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
…Mark Twain
Mickelson started the final round a stroke behind Lee Westwood. Once he took the lead midway in the round, he played solid golf. There is always trepidation that Mickelson will do something rash and blow a lead, but not on this Sunday. He slowly steadied toward what was a suspenseless three stroke lead over Westwood at the finish. It was all over but the heart-warming embraces with his wife.
Woods played erratically. He started the day four strokes back and never got closer than three strokes behind the leaders. He matched bogies with birdies. A few times after eagles there was a glimmer of hope he would rock and roll into a historic achievement, but bogies followed to do him in.
In view of the intense pressure stemming from public reaction to his sexual hijinx, his performance was admirable. Though the oddsmakers somewhat surprisingly made him the pre-tourney favorite, many people thought he wouldn’t even make the half-way cut.
If you drink, don’t
drive. Don’t even putt.
…Dean Martin
Attempts by the CBS interviewer to get Woods to talk about his performance in the face of the added aspects of his story failed because at heart Woods is, above all, the peerless competitor. To a question that would have given him the chance to say that, all in all, he did well, he said, “I finished fourth.” That-and all the bad shots he took--is what he was taking away from this Masters.
If he’s lucky, he’ll come to reflect on it all and realize he didn’t do badly at all. Much better for sure than Billy Payne.
CBS is so thankful it is given the privilege of telecasting the Masters (the other networks lust to take this prize), it knuckles to whatever demands are made by the club. A bow to the Masters people in one regard, though, for getting the network to limit interruptions for commercials.
Beyond that CBS quakes at the knees for fear of dealing with controversy or criticism of the club. If Payne’s boorish comments made air time during the early telecasts, I didn’t hear it. Nor did the telecast show the planes which flew over the course during the first rounds mocking Woods’ sexual peccadillos.
Golf is a game invented
by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
…Lee Trevino
Woods made a shrewd decision to come back to golf in the rarified golf bubble that is the Masters. Golf spectators are the most reverent of all sports fans, more so in the rarified confines of this hallowed southern course, Georgia that is.
The Masters people went a step further in dampening any bad behavior. Spectators to the course had to sign a paper that they would not act in an unsatisfactory manner, at risk of being ejected from the course. CBS’ praise of the spectators’ behavior would have been more meaningful if it had reported the boy scout pledge demanded by the management.
No such pledge was required of Billy Payne.
It’s almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. --Robert Lynd
©2010 by Stan Isaacs. The Stan Isaacs caricature is ©2001 by Jim Hummel. This column first posted April 5, 2010.
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