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Originally Published July 13, 2000 |
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 Ann loves playing scenes in a wedding dress because she didn't get to wear one in real life. |
Would you believe our star
loves doing laundry?
By ANN JILLIAN
of TheColumnists.com
My assignment was to write about "Guilty Pleasures": You know, those things that a number of people might consider "uncool," but that you like, find fascinating, are stupidly drawn to, or just plain get a kick out of doing. I immediately thought of those "in depth" questions asked on biographical shows to which the guests furrow their brows in a perplexed fashion and proceed to utter profundities they hope will be worthy of handing down to posterity.
"Ooo, this won't be easy," I thought.
After
all, "guilt" is a private thing. That's why we cringe
with embarrassment at some of our exploits and seriously squirm
at the thought of revealing others. In short, it would mean spilling
the beans on the idiosyncracies, lightweight lusts, and purely
pointless pursuits that waste time and otherwise might be viewed,
by some, as "marring" my image. In other words, if
I was honest, would people think I'm weird? On second thought,
don't answer that. Hmm...What to do?
Well, O.K., I'm game. I guess the best way to start this "purge
of peccadilloes" is to admit to them one by one. Then, to
quote the wisdom of Bullwinkle J. Moose, "the healing can
begin!"
Which
leads me to my first admission:
I Enjoy Seeing
Lowbrow Movies Over and Over
I saw 'The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle'! (Gosh, I feel better already) While my son and I enjoyed its silliness, I wouldn't say I'd go back to see it again. However, that's not true of some of the other movies I've seen a multitude of times and never get tired of seeing over again. They include; 'The Mummy,' 'Independence Day,' 'The Mask of Zorro,' 'Jurassic Park,' all the Indiana Jones escapades, 'Air Force One,' 'Star Wars,' 'Titanic,' 'Mulan,' 'Gladiator,' and those Mel Gibson epics, 'Braveheart' and 'The Patriot.' ( I cover my son's eyes and my own, too, at the really brutal parts.)
Why see them so many times? At first, it was for my son. What enthralled him? Everything. The stories, the actors, the music and through his eyes I was catapulted back to my own childhood, remembering when I was the kid who was given only enough money to see one showing, yet hiding in the dark corner of the theatre, clutching her popcorn, waiting in gleeful anticipation to see "the magic" again. I remember being transported, so effortlessly, to different worlds and becoming friends or foes of so many colorful characters. They're like familiar friends. You think you know what to expect from them, but you're always delighted when they lead you to discover something new.
O.K.,
so seeing them a number of times might be a bit much for a "practical"
person, but it's a study hall for me -- and, who knows, maybe
for my son as well. Since Blockbuster and other video stores
are flourishing, I'd say I have company in this particular "guilty
pleasure" and creative dreamers are alive and well aound
the world. Then again, it may just be a revelation of how much
I love this medium of story-telling, how much I appreciate the
talents and efforts of those people who breathe life into the
written word and visions that began with the tiniest of screens:
the mind's eye. How fortunate I am to be a part of the dream-making
process.
I Love Doing The Laundry!
Now, women and men do the laundry everyday and there's nothing "uncool" about it, except perhaps in those circles where you're supposed to have stuff like that done FOR you by other people. It's considered drudgery, a chore. But I've always loved doing the laundry. (By the way, I'm talking about doing my family's laundry, so don't ask me to come and do yours!)
There must be some psychological significance there. I'm starting to believe history is on the side of people who do laundry. Look at all the adages handed down through the ages, like,"It all comes out in the wash" or, "It's cleansing." The late, great lyricist Sammy Cahn must have washed a few loads himself, judging by his song, "Guess I'll Hang My Tears Out To Dry."
When
burdened by life's "stress," family, friends, work
or exercise are all great to help get rid of the "foul intruder."But
if they don't work for some reason or other and fatigue rules
out the excercise ( judging from my shape lately, I've been exhausted),
I go to the laundry room. In a couple of extreme cases, I have
feverishly gone on a search and seizure mission to find any sorry,
soiled rag or dirty dud that I could give new life to with a
therapeutic wash. Then, there in the "cleaning cubicle,"
I stand entranced by the steady rhythmic sloshing sound of the
washing machine. Sometimes, I lift the lid to watch the action
and with every squeeze I release my woes into the churning water
with all the rest of the grime. And when the drain cycle comes,
it's -- how shall I put it? --exciting?! Folding the warm, fluffy,
clean linens and articles of clothing is yet another comforting
moment and I feel renewed, refreshed and confident that nobody
does it better.
Scarfing Down Ice
Cream
Ice
cream definitely qualifies as a "guilty pleasure."
In fact, as a kid, I used to think that happiness would be laying
under the spigot of a Carvel soft serve machine. The wonderful
texture, the coolness, the taste! Nuf' said.
Fantasizing
About Being A Farmer
I
love growing my own vegetables and I would love to live on a
farm with gently rolling hills and meadows. I see myself sitting
on a John Deere, mowing the wide expanses of green. However,
I'd be willing to forego collecting the eggs from the chicken
coop and I do not lust for milking the cows.
I Love Reading
'Bride' Magazines
Yes, even at my age, I still browse through Bride's magazines. Read into that what you will, but it comes down to this: Red Buttons "never had a dinner," and has been griping about it ever since, but I NEVER HAD A WEDDING GOWN!
O.K.,
it's true that I've worn them a few times in the television movies
I've done -- simple ones, lavish ones and once even a historical
garment lent to the production by a London museum to use in the
mini-series "Ellis Island." BUT I NEVER HAD
A WEDDING GOWN! I've
even tried to fulfill my yearning by secretly designing my own
line of wedding gowns. I envisioned myself modeling them and
I still have the designs, too. ( I'd have to add some "plus"
sizes now!) At my real wedding, I wore a red, white and blue
polyester suit because it was the best outfit I had. That means
you can't even tell my wedding pictures are wedding pictures
because, as you may have heard, the bride NEVER HAD A WEDDING GOWN!!!!!
Ah, excuse me, this whole thing is entirely too revealing. I
think I'll just go plow the South 40, do the laundry, after which
I intend to buy a soothing soft-serve, and sit myself down to
see a good movie or two...or three...
©2000 by Ann Jillian. The Ann Jillian caricature is ©2000 by Jim Hummel.
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