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Chuck McFadden

Ins & Outs of the Bush-Gore
Administration(s)

Here's a preview of what we may have wrought at the polls

By CHUCK McFADDEN
of TheColumnists.com

We're still contemplating what we have wrought at the polls. What a mess. Lawsuits. Hanging, dimpled and pregnant chads. Spin from would-be vice presidents and lawyers, lawyers, lawyers.

Bitter feelings. Whispers of fraud. And that's just in the network newsrooms.

Smart-alecks across the land have suggested a co-presidency. Others whisper that Bill Clinton has volunteered to stay on another four years, if needed.

Never mind all that. W. is in--or Al is in--and other considerations now demand attention. We don't know who our next president is going to be, but we're way overdue to begin thinking about the Washington tribal rites that must be attended to by whoever wins. They are part of the ritual of state every time a new president rides into town, laden with hope and resumes.

There is the matter of The Tone. Incoming administrations set The Tone. For instance, Hollywood was big during the first months of the Reagan administration; minks, diamonds, stretch limos, cleavage--if you've got it, flaunt it. When John F. Kennedy was in, it was canny politics, eloquence…and secret illicit sex; with Clinton, it was canny politics, eloquence…and illicit sex.

Everyone in Gucci Gulch, the K street home of Washington's top lobbyists, will have known W. very well. "Oh, for years. Knew him back when he was drinking. The stories I could tell you…"

Same thing with Al Gore. "Nice young man. Knew him when he was a reporter. Wore white shirts to mow the lawn."

And of course, some things will be popular among the young Turks of either a Gore or Bush administration. You'll want to be au courant about that.

So, here are some clues to what we might expect if either W. wins and there's a Restoration of the House of Bush, or Big Al wins and the beat goes on:

If Bush Wins:
If Gore Wins:

In: senior advisors.
Out: details.
In: fraternities; young men across the country will stand amid the morning-after wreckage of fraternity parties and blearily declare: "I will be president someday."
Out: being a policy wonk; it will become fashionable for CEOs to declare airily that they are not interested in details, that they are Big Picture types; corporate train wrecks will follow.
Out: global warming.
In: Redemptive power of a good woman.
Out: 12-hour workdays.
Out: all-nighters to discuss policy considerations.
In: nicknames; half an hour after meeting someone, W. has a nickname for him or her.
Out: the northeast; New York will be so out. Besides, Hillary's from there. Now.
In: Texas (Well, yeah. Wouldn't be Delaware).
Out: presidential initials: (GWB? Gweeb? No.)
In: one-page summaries.
Out: nation-building.
In: SUVs.
Out: wearing cowboy boots with a suit to prove you're a good ol' boy.
In: "faith-based" organizations
Out: English. (W. may fool us, though; his dad was not noted for his easy use of English language, but he coined "voodoo economics" and "kinder, gentler." Both phrases seem destined to become permanent additions to the Mother Tongue. What might W. come up with?
Out: references to learning curves.
In: Books with lots of pictures.
Out: four-syllable words. In: recounts.
Out: one-page summaries.
In: 36-page memos (with charts).
Out: oil drilling.
In: being serious.
In: global warming.
Out: flamboyance; officials may be permitted screen savers of Tennessee scenes or Washington; flying toasters may be viewed with suspicion as being whimsical.
In: marital passion.
In: earnestness.
Out: bolo ties; cowboy boots; horses; ranches; Texas.
In: nation-building.
Out: people who say they're undecided. About anything.
In: hybrid electric-gasoline cars.
Out: SUVs.
In: laser pointers worn in shirt pockets.
Out: Ralph Nader.
In: working until 10 p.m. and sending an email on some subject or other to your boss just as you leave to let him or her know how late you worked.
Out: references to the Clinton administration.
In: Washington. (Most presidential candidates run against the capital, but there is a permanent Washington social community; since Al was partly raised in Washington, he's regarded as one of theirs.)
Out: fuzzy math.
In: the word "wonkism."
In: wing-tips.
Out: any references to "simple solutions."
In: town hall meetings (Oh, God!).
In: a coffee table book of Tipper's photos, with proceeds to worthy cause (There's sure to be one.).

© 2000 by Charles M. McFadden. The cartoon image is from the IMSI Master/Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. East, San Rafael, CA 94901-5506, USA. Bush and Gore photos are from their campaign organizations.

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If Bush Wins:	If Gore Wins:
In: senior advisors. Out: details. In: fraternities; young men across the country will stand amid the morning-after wreckage of fraternity parties and blearily declare: "I will be president someday." Out: being a policy wonk; it will become fashionable for CEOs to declare airily that they are not interested in details, that they are Big Picture types; corporate train wrecks will follow. Out: global warming. In: Redemptive power of a good woman. Out: 12-hour workdays. Out: all-nighters to discuss policy considerations. In: nicknames; half an hour after meeting someone, W. has a nickname for him or her. Out: the northeast; New York will be so out. Besides, Hillary's from there. Now. In: Texas (Well, yeah. Wouldn't be Delaware). Out: presidential initials: (GWB? Gweeb? No.) In: one-page summaries. Out: nation-building. In: SUVs. Out: wearing cowboy boots with a suit to prove you're a good ol' boy. In: "faith-based" organizations Out: English. (W. may fool us, though; his dad was not noted for his easy use of English language, but he coined "voodoo economics" and "kinder, gentler." Both phrases seem destined to become permanent additions to the Mother Tongue. What might W. come up with? Out: references to learning curves. In: Books with lots of pictures. Out: four-syllable words.	In: recounts. Out: one-page summaries. In: 36-page memos (with charts). Out: oil drilling. In: being serious. In: global warming. Out: flamboyance; officials may be permitted screen savers of Tennessee scenes or Washington; flying toasters may be viewed with suspicion as being whimsical. In: marital passion. In: earnestness. Out: bolo ties; cowboy boots; horses; ranches; Texas. In: nation-building. Out: people who say they're undecided. About anything. In: hybrid electric-gasoline cars. Out: SUVs. In: laser pointers worn in shirt pockets. Out: Ralph Nader. In: working until 10 p.m. and sending an email on some subject or other to your boss just as you leave to let him or her know how late you worked. Out: references to the Clinton administration. In: Washington. (Most presidential candidates run against the capital, but there is a permanent Washington social community; since Al was partly raised in Washington, he's regarded as one of theirs.) Out: fuzzy math. In: the word "wonkism." In: wing-tips. Out: any references to "simple solutions." In: town hall meetings (Oh, God!). In: a coffee table book of Tipper's photos, with proceeds to worthy cause (There's sure to be one.).