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IT's CASABLANCA: THE CHINESE MUSICAL!  "My name Rickie Lu-Chow. I run chop suey joint in Shanghai! Everybody come see me tap-a-dance 'As Time-A Go By!'" |
Will Rick tap-dance to
'As Time Goes By'?
of TheColumnists.com
You may want to read the paragraph below very slowly and carefully. You may in fact want to read it twice, because you probably won’t believe it at first and you’ll want to throw cold water on your face and then come back to read it again. Ready? OK, go ahead.
“Casablanca” is going to be made into a musical. That’s right, a musical. It’s to open in April. In China. On stage in the Great Hall of the People. There will be tap dancing. It will feature the song “As Time Goes By.” I am not, as they say, making this up.
The project was developed by the China Arts and Entertainment Group WITH THE COOPERATION OF TIME-WARNER.
Right. In other words, Time-Warner thinks it’s perfectly OK to make a musical of “Casablanca.” Heck, they’re happy to help out.
The word comes to us from Xinhua News Agency via The Associated Press, so it’s probably not someone’s idea of a joke.
Well, now. Where to begin? Sacrilege? Anything for a buck? Is nothing sacred? Do the sensitivities of generations of moviegoers mean nothing? The mind casts about, trying to find the proper words.
Remember the outrage when someone--who was it, Ted Turner?--suggested it would be a neat idea to colorize “Casablanca”? And the snorts of derision at the short-lived television series based on the movie? (It was supposedly set in Rick’s Café Americain after Rick and Ilsa had said goodbye.)
Warner Brothers at one time had considered doing a sequel to “Casablanca” because the movie had been such a success. But nothing came of it, thank the Good Lord. There are some things you just don’t mess around with.
But now--this.
The company is probably trying it out in China because they don’t have the nerve to open in the United States. This is an out-of-town tryout that’s really out of town.
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Of all chop suey joint in Shanghai, She have-a come inna mine!" |
What’s next? The show-stopping, high-kicking chorus line from “Gunsmoke?” The massed choruses singing the aria from “Gone with the Wind?” “Syncopated Shane?”
I mean, c’mon, people, there is a line, and it’s just been crossed. Anyone for a hula skirt on the Statue of Liberty? Why not? They’re making a musical out of “Casablanca,” aren’t they? So what’s the problem?
You can’t really blame the China Arts and Entertainment Group for this sacrilege. After all, they didn’t grow up in this country and I suppose to them, “Casablanca” is just another movie. But Time-Warner ought to be ashamed of itself.
Somewhere in the Great Night Club in the Sky, Humphrey Bogart, Claude Rains, Paul Henreid and Ingrid Bergman must be shaking their heads sadly.
There’s an old and entirely admirable show-biz tradition that The Show Must Go On.
Not in this case.
©2005 by Charles M. McFadden. The McFadden caricature is ©2001 by Jim Hummel. The cartoon is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted on March 21, 2005.
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