 "Yes, Mr. Chairman, ever since CNN reported I was a mob hit man in my youth, I've feared my confirmation as Attorney General might be in doubt." |
"Doin' the Confirmation Conga!" Every president-elect has to learn the latest steps. |
If you humiliate the President,
Hara-kiri is always a good choice
By
CHUCK McFADDEN
of TheColumnists.com
It now seems to be a part of the process for every president-elect. At least once, you pick a nominee for a cabinet post, appear with him or her at a news conference, proclaim his or her wonderfulness and then … Oops!
The nominee didn't pay Social Security taxes on a nanny. Or the nominee said something inflammatory in an interview with a newspaper 15 years ago. Or a bimbo comes out of the woodwork to accuse the nominee of … well, you get the picture.
The president-elect expresses confidence in the nominee, but seems to be looking over his shoulder.
Opponents of the nominee describe the disclosure as "troubling." In private they are telling one another: "Yippee! This sucker is toast!"
The nominee is thinking "I can't believe this is happening to me. That interview was 15 years ago." Or, "My gosh, it was only one bimbo. Or so."
The president-elect's handlers begin damage control. There is an immediate closed-door conference with the nominee. There is also an immediate closed-door meeting with the person in charge of vetting cabinet nominees. That meeting always begins with the words "How the hell…"
The nominee is told that it would be best for all concerned if the nominee were to withdraw his or her very own nomination. Right now. There is sympathy. There are mutual sighs over how unfair it all is. But beneath the sighs and head-shaking sympathy is the plain message: You can do this yourself, and go out with a few shreds of class intact, or we'll do it.
Seldom anymore does the president-elect preside over the public dumping of the nominee. Faced with that choice, the nominee almost always commits hara-kiri on his own.
The nominee's withdrawal statement goes along the following lines: "Well, I'm a perfectly terrific person, and would make an awesome Secretary of Whatever, but these silly allegations would take up so much of my time and the president-elect's time that, well, I just decided to withdraw."
All the time, of course, thinking: "Those bastards. They didn't lift a finger. And three days ago I was basking in the warm smiles of those people. How could they fold up like that?"
If the withdrawal comes later, in the midst of a confirmation fight, the nominee varies the withdrawal statement to say that the continuing battle is too much of a distraction to the president-elect, or the president, in view of his awesome responsibilities as Leader of the Free World. He's got bigger things to think about than lil' ol' me.
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The president-elect then says a few appropriate words about what a sterling public servant the withdrawn nominee was and how the American people owe him or her a debt of gratitude for not making too much of a fuss.
The press then begins a litany of stories about how bad the nominee would have been anyway, it's better that the nominee went away, there were serious doubts about the nominee's competence never mind the bimbo(s), etc.
The former nominee then has one continuing responsibility in the face of all this: Shut up.
However, most cabinet nominees are confirmed by the Senate, even with the votes of people who loathe the nominee's ideology. Senators want to give the president-elect the benefit of the doubt, and believe that he is entitled to select people who agree with his views, even though they're idiotic.
But, as is true in elections, hearts are broken. There is seldom a time in public life where a person is so publicly, thoroughly, humiliated.
Nominees vow to rise and fight again another day. Sometimes they do. But more often than not, they don't get the chance.
© 2001 by Charles M. McFadden. The illustrations are from
the IMSI Master/Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. East,
San Rafael, CA 94901-5506, USA.
McFadden suggests: Probably the best book on the subject of Senate confirmation of a presidential cabinet nominee, and indeed one of the best political novels ever written, is "Advise and Consent," by Allen Drury. Even though the book is now more than 40 years old, it is well worth reading. The movie adaptation was released in 1962, and starred Franchot Tone, Henry Fonda, Burgess Meredith, Peter Lawford, Gene Tierney and Charles Laughton (His last film). It was directed by Otto Preminger.
You can comment on this column or contact Chuck McFadden with an email to: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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