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A Series About Childhood Memories |
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Justice is My Destiny |
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Half a century later, he's still
in deep cover, anxious to help
aka Ronnie Miller
of TheColumnists.com
You can't imagine the thrill of finally being accepted into one of the most powerful crime-stopping organizations in the U.S. Well, at least the junior auxiliary group. I mean, I was really pumped up when I opened the manila envelope and found membership certificate #185048 in the legendary JUNIOR JUSTICE SOCIETY of AMERICA.
My name--I was working under the monicker "Ronnie" Miller then--was right on the bright yellow document, which was officially signed by none other than Diana Prince, the society's secretary. They couldn't be careful enough back in 1948. That's why they had the real secretary of the Justice Society use her secret identity. They couldn't afford to let Wonder Woman sign her own documents, not with so many Commie spies running around loose in postwar America.
"Vladimir, I've discovered da Vonder Voman is now vorking as secretary for dis funny book factory in New York City," a spy might tell his contact man. "Should ve pay her a little visit around closing time?"
At age 9, I was totally devoted to the Justice Society of America. I followed their exploits in All Star Comics and haunted the used comic book stores, trying to learn all I could about the members who had gone undercover and no longer appeared in the comics. There were lots, like Dr. Fate, The Starman, The Spectre, Hourman and who knows how many more.
But the present corps still was pretty impressive. My favorite was The Green Lantern, who wore a ring that emitted a green ray that could do almost anything. I loved his costume, which included a gigantic collar that stood up behind his blonde hair, and his special motto: "In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Beware the power--Green Lantern's light!"
I mean, is that cool or what?
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The Green Lantern whose power came from a ring he pressed regularly against a radioactive lantern from outer space. |
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I also was fond of The Atom, who wore a blue hood that totally covered his head, and had superhuman strength, even though he was rather small for a superhero. I guess that's why they called him an "atom," because he was little, like an atomic particle, but packed with devastating power.
However, I didn't particularly like playing The Atom in neighborhood games because he had the all-time worst secret identity: Al Pratt! Can you believe those dummies at the comic book place naming a character "Pratt"? No wonder he wore a hood over his whole head. That's probably why he became a superhero: To get away from the Pratt jokes.
Though I was fond of the Black Canary, a hot-looking blonde with fishnet stockings and killer legs, I left her for the cross-dressers in the neighborhood. We had a kid on the block who always wanted to be the girl in our games. He was born to be Black Canary. This was before any of us knew about gender issues, of course. He moved away before he was 10, but I imagine the guys in his new neighborhood found lots of fun things for him to do when he was a little older.
Another guy I liked was Dr. Midnight, who only became a superhero at night because he was blind the rest of the time. I guess we were in need of enlightenment about what to expect from people with disabilities. Anyway, nobody ever wanted to be Dr. Midnight because none of us could stay up that late, at least on school nights.
Though I liked Hawkman, I wasn't too crazy about that ugly birdface disguise he had to wear over his head. What he had going for him was the anti-gravity belt that enabled him to fly like Green Lantern or Superman--and that huge medieval mace that he carried to swat the bad guys. On the downside, though, was the fact there was a Hawkwoman. Though she behaved in the comics, I could imagine her following him around on assignments, nagging him about his cholesterol or about taking his costume to the cleaners. Who needs that?
Costumes are important, which is why I never was too keen on filling the role of The Flash. Sure, I loved the fact that he was the fastest man on Earth, but he wore these blue slippers with wings on them and this stupid-looking metal doughboy helmet, also with wings on it. I guess I knew he was supposed to look like the god Mercury. Had I known I someday would be working for a newspaper called The Mercury, I would have considered it crass commercialism to wear an outfit like that.
As I recall, The Flash and Black Canary didn't spend much time together. Now that I'm older and more sophisticated, I think I've figured it out: Black Canary was like Mae West. She wanted a man who takes his time, not a guy who would ask "Was it good for you?" a few seconds after she felt a sudden tickling breeze in her underwear, but neither saw nor heard anything else.
Though Wonder Woman served as secretary, she rarely helped out with any Justice Society jobs. Superman and Batman also were "honorary" members--you'll notice very tiny pictures of them at the bottom ends of the certificate--but they seldom showed up for meetings. My Grandma Effie would have had an explanation for that: "They just got too big for their britches!"
Of all the adventures I remember sharing with the Justice Society, I think my favorite was the battle with Solomon Grundy, a huge green monster who was created out of slime molecules or something in a swamp, and couldn't be destroyed. I may be wrong, but I think my hero, The Green Lantern, sealed Solomon in a perfect ball of green lantern rays and left him on the moon for the Apollo astronauts to find. Wouldn't it be funny if that's the reason we don't land on the moon anymore? Like, Solomon Grundy got loose and is running around up there?
I can't remember why I stopped following the exploits of the Justice Society. I didn't like it when they "updated" all the costumes one day and got rid of anything that didn't look streamlined. I never thought I'd miss that high collar on Green Lantern or the dishpan hat on The Flash, but I did. Later on, the X-Men arrived and nobody wanted to read about any other superhero groups but them. By that time, I was already past comic books and into more important stuff, like horror movies and sci-fi magazines.
But I still have my membership certificate on my wall, waiting for the "annoucements" they assured me would be coming. I've been ready to battle injustice and my costume is all set. This is my secret identity and my real name is GOPHER MAN! Hey, it's been 53 years, Wonder Woman. How long do you expect a guy to wait for your call?
© 2002 by Ron Miller. The Green Lantern image is the property of DC Comics. The "JUSTICE" illustrations are from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.
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to: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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