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Oscar Goes Tame at 80,
But Awards Are A-OK
of TheColumnists.com
Maybe the biggest mistake they made in preparing the 80th Annual Academy Awards show was putting together all those reels of clips from past Oscar shows. I imagine they were ordered because the writers were on strike until just a few weeks ago and that meant they wouldn't have to write so much in so little time.
But that plan backfired because all it did was remind us how many magic moments were in those old shows--and how sorely new magic moments were missed in Sunday night's exceedingly tame three-hour telecast.
This was one of the lamest Oscar shows I've ever seen--and I've seen nearly every one of them since they started televising them. Nobody really "acted up" in the grand Oscar style and almost nobody came in an unconventional outfit, except maybe Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody ("Juno"), who wore a revealing dress that looked like the costume of an up-scale exotic dancer. But then what did we expect from a lively woman who actually used to be an exotic dancer, had a tattoo of a hootchy-kootch dancer on her shoulder and has a first name that means "Devil" in Spanish?
Over the past half dozen years, the Academy has tightened the screws on winners so tightly that almost nobody dares to run on too long or say anything really outrageous. Let's face it: Don't we all long for the days of streakers on live TV, political stand-ins like Sacheen Littlefeather, who accepted an award for Marlon Brando on behalf of oppressed Native Americans, wearing full Indian tribal regalia?
When you add the rule-enforcement policy to the fact that nobody writes any good Oscar-nominated songs anymore and the humongous dance numbers of the past have all been eliminated, you get an invitation to be bored. I longed for at least a walk-through by Cher, knowing that anything in her closet would be more entertaining than the basic black gowns and tuxes paraded before our eyes Sunday night.
But at least they didn't stink the joint out by handing the major awards to undeserving winners. "No Place For Old Men," Joel and Ethan Coen's suspenseful and stylish thriller, won Best Picture and the Coens shared the Best Director Oscar. With the Best Supporting Actor Oscar going to sinister Javier Bardem from the "No Place For Old Men" cast, it's clear the Academy voters embraced what was one of the most exciting and visually stimulating films in recent years.
Though I wasn't pulling for Daniel Day-Lewis to win the Best Actor Oscar for his evil mining company entrepreneur character in "There Will Be Blood," I have to concede his performance was sensational in that otherwise unpleasant movie.
And the Academy annointed French actress Marion Cotillard with the Best Actress Oscar for her stunning performance as French chanteuse Edith Piaf in "La Vie en Rose." That choice alone totally restored my faith in the credibility of the Oscars. Cotillard's performance may be the best I've ever seen on screen--and NOT picking her would have been a travesty.
Yes, I was let down by the decision NOT to give Ruby Dee the Supporting Actress Oscar for "American Gangster," but I can understand how some voters felt about giving the award for such a small role. Instead, the Oscar went to Tilda Swinton for her performance as a slimy corporate lawyer in "Michael Clayton," a very worthy performance and my clear second choice anyway.
There were some nice moments, although I stop short of calling them "magical." When Day-Lewis came to get his Best Actor Oscar from Helen Mirren, last year's Best Actress winner, he actually sank to one knee before her, a tribute to her Oscar role as Queen Elizabeth in "The Queen," then cracked, "That's the closest I'll ever be to getting a knighthood!"
It was a nice moment and Day-Lewis seemed like such a nice guy that it made you appreciate even more how far he had to travel from himself to play the dastardly villain he played in "There Will Be Blood."
Cotillard literally gushed while accepting her Oscar for "La Vie En Rose," saying this honor really "rocked my world." That's about as much as I could understand because she began to slip seriously back to her native French. It was clearly all sincere, though, and she seemed truly moved. She also was marvelously dolled up for the occasion in a long off-white designer gown that was one of the most tasteful, yet sexy of any worn on stage Sunday night. Because makeup men made her completely over to resemble Piaf, we never got to see on screen what a beautiful young woman Cotillard is as herself. I'm sure lots of producers were noticing what a handsome woman she is and I predict she'll be beseiged with offers of roles in Hollywood films right away.
Oscar Host Jon Stewart was acceptable, but didn't really distinguish himself much in the later going on the long show. His opening monologue had some very funny material. I loved his crack about Javier Bardem in "No Country For Old Men" resembling serial killer Hannibal Lecter with Dorothy Hamill's wedge haircut. I also got a kick out of his getting a camera shot of actor Dennis Hopper in the audience and observing that was so Hopper would know where he was. (Hopper is a reformed dopehead who hasn't always known where he was.)
Stewart, whose humor is usually political, also couldn't help infusing a little presidential politics into his monologue. He said the Democratic ticket--with African-American candidate Barack Obama and female candidate Hillary Clinton--was like one of those disaster movies in which an asteroid hits the Statue of Liberty and the U.S. President is either a black man or a white woman.
"How else are we going to know it's the future?" Stewart remarked.
But then a lot of what Stewart had to say later on wasn't very inspired. My summation of him as Oscar host is that he's not a David Letterman-style disaster, but he's definitely no Billy Crystal either.
My greatest disappointment was the performance of the five Oscar-nominated Best Songs, three of them from the Disney picture "Enchanted." Not one of them was really worth listening to and the winner--"Falling Slowly" from "Once" can keep falling, but hopefully a little faster, for my money. I didn't think I'd ever find songs that made "It's Tough Out There Being A Pimp" sound good, but this was the year it happened.
Perhaps the sentimental moment of the evening was the presentation of an honorary award to 98-year-old Robert Boyle, the veteran production designer of such films as Hitchcock's "North by Northwest" and scores more. Though Boyle is frail and had to be helped to the podium by two Oscarettes, he still has a booming voice and I noticed he kept glancing over to check out award presenter Nicole Kidman, who looked phenomenal, as usual. I don't think the guy is anywhere near giving up on Hollywood glamour quite yet.
"That's the good part of getting old," Boyle said when the ovation for him finally quieted down, then added: "I don't recommend the other."
It was a big night for the Coen brothers who shared the Best Adapted Screenplay and directing Oscars with each other and the Best Picture Oscar with producer Scott Rudin. Ethan Coen, who said virtually nothing during the pickup of their first Oscar of the night, got a laugh when he stepped to the mike for the second Oscar and said, "I don't think I have anything to add to what I said earlier."
All in all, though, it was a pretty unremarkable show. There were even times when I suspected they might have decided to use the plan they were going to use if the writers didn't come back to work: No script and just people picking up awards when their names were called.
I think it may be time for the Academy to shake the tree a little and try to come up with something more daring and less rule-conscious next year or even heavy-duty Oscar fans like me are going to start checking out what's playing on the other channels next Oscar night.
©2008 by Ron Miller. This column first posted Feb. 25, 2008.
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