TheColumnists.com
If you look hard enough these days, you're sure to find:
All Kinds of Mothers
Words by Ron Miller
Images from IMSI Master Clips Collection


 
"See, Jimmy. I told you we both would lose face if
you picked your nose in public. Now do you believe me?"

 
"Please don't cry, Jameel. Only
girls are permitted to carry heavy
burdens atop their heads in our
country--and there is nothing
you can do about it!"

 
"Mommy, those men aren't looking
at us anymore. Can I stop pretending
to be a wind-up toy?"

 

 
"Try to hold it until I get my purse
open, Billy!"

 
"No, children, I don't think it's fair
when your daddy says you
take after my side of the family!"

 
"Yes, Veronica, mommy waited until she was 18
before she started the silicone injections. I'm
sure none of the girls in your class are getting
them quite yet."

 
"I know you don't want to dress like
a girl anymore, Arthur, but you'll
look so adorable in the new fall line."

 
"I'm really glad you liked the flowers,
Mommy, but I'm going to need another
advance on my allowance to cover
my losses in the market so far
this fiscal year."

 
"Rock-a-bye baby in the treetop;
maybe that'll make your testicles drop."

 

"I can't believe it! Monica's going
to be the weather girl on Clinton's new talk show?"

 
"I love the Mother's Day dinner you fixed for me, Jill, but how would you like a little steak and potatoes for dessert?"

 
"Remember, Bobby, when you're
old enough to vote: Mommies make
better mayors, senators and presidents."

 
"Keep smiling while the nice man
takes our picture, Fifi, and I'll change your diaper as soon as the coast is clear!"

 
"Daddy sent you to find out what Mommy wants for Mother's Day? Well, go tell him Mommy likes Gucci, Cartier and large negotiable bonds."

The cartoon illustrations are from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA.





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