ON OUR TEAM SINCE
DEC. 23, 2001
AN EX-COP'S WARNING
TO ALL 'CYCLE SISSIES'
"Snarf, Snarf...'Devil on the Highway, Devil Going My Way'...Move Over, Sucker!"
The new breed of bikers
pose a hazard for all
By ANDY MURCIA
Okay, you can call this column a rant if you want, but I had to write it. Ive had it with these motorcycle sissies as I refer to them.
Oh. not all motorcycle riders fit this description, not by a long shot. Im talking about the new breed of riders who are trying to save gas on their commute, so they parked their cars and bought motorcycles.
These guys would be better off paying the bigger gas bills because as it stands now theyre risking their lives and those of other motorists. To start with motorcycles are more dangerous than autos to the human body. Just because a guy rode a motorcycle when he was a boy does not mean he can operate one now at age 45! For starters, traffic is a lot worse than it used to beand a guy's reflexes and expertise in operating a motorcycle have long ago gone rusty, to say the least.
How many times in California do you see a motorcycle drive in-between lanes and in-between two cars, violating the automobiles right to be in that marked lane. Back when I was a cop in Chicago failure to stay in your own lane would get you a big fat ticket. In California, not only do the cycle sissies do it, but motorcycles cops also do it!
A driver of an auto here must not only watch the car in front, behind, and to his sides, but must also watch for the motorcyclist to sneak up in-between the cars in his lane. Its not uncommon for many of these cyclists to occasionaly scrape the cars theyre passing. I placed a call to the California highway Patrol and the DMV and both told me that it was legal for the motorcyclist to do this. This takes the cake! Man, who was smoking what when they okayed this crap?
I can't tell you how many times a motorcyclist has passed me that way only to pull in front of me, then slow down abruptly. I have to jump on the brakes to keep from punting him and his motor to San Diego!
He may just be adjusting the microphone for the Big Mama riding behind him so they can chat, or adjusting her TV screen or even making a cup of coffee. Some of these bikes have about every conceivable device imaginable on them. They look more like a car without a roof or sides than a motorcycle.
The older, more experienced riders are not really a problem to a motorist in a caronce you get past their skull and bones jacket designs, but these re-treads are just the worst drivers. Some of them look like they just came out of central casting for a remake of The Wild One. Its funny to know that some are attorneys or accountants on their day off. They get brave and try a move, then they chicken out and get in front of a car and its totally up to the driver of that car to "baby-sit" them as I call it. If they cause you to hit their bikes, you may be charged with the accident and pay the damages.
These new/old riders really need to get their stuff together or get the hell off those
motorcycles. I for one am sick of watching over them. They make driving for us car drivers a tough task when we not only have to watch put for ourselves, but also have to take care of the little babies on the motorcycles. If I sound hostile about these motorcyclists its because I am! Enough already!
I say let the real Marlon Brando Wild Ones ride and you pansies with your briefcase tied on the back of your hog should really consider car pooling before you kill yourself/
Im not a motorcycle hater per se. I used to ride motors when I was a young guy, until a car with a red hood took me out and bought me 196 feet of road burns, scraping much needed skin off my noggin and backside. The red hood was all I remembered when I woke up laying on the street. That was enough for me.
So, listen up all you plastic, clean shaven biker dudes. Just because you tuck your suit coat in your saddle bag, and don a helmet, this alone will not make you a great motorcycle rider. Go out in the country where all you can run into are haystacks.
©2008 by Andy Murcia. The Murcia caricature is ©2003 by Jim Hummel. The cartoon is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted Dec. 1, 2008.
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