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Observations of An Ex-Cop in La La Land |
 ANDY MURCIA |
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 Lana Clarkson posed with fan Jerry Beetz at a "Barbarian Queen" convention event. |
Her death casts shadows
over TV pilot season
By ANDY MURCIA
of TheColumnists.com
You can tell it’s pilot season in Los Angeles--the
time when the studios are making sample episodes of proposed
new shows for the TV networks--just by the number of East Coast
actors who make the scene here.
Ann Jillian and I really enjoy this time of year because we get
to visit with our dear friends from back East, like actors Tony
Lo Bianco (Editor's Note: Lo Bianco played Andy in "The
Ann Jillian Story") and Rick Aiello, Danny Aiello’s
son. There are so many others who come out during January and
February that our little guesthouse has the “no vacancy”
sign out at least until mid-March.
But there is a dark cloud hanging over this pilot season in Hollywood, because actress Lana Clarkson was found shot to death in the foyer of rock legend Phil Spector’s home. A limo had just dropped Spector and Lana off when the driver and neighbors heard “three or four shots” from inside the house. Police later found Lana dead.
Why the cloud? Well, in addition to the obvious morbidity over the taking of a human life, I think it’s because all the actors have known a “Lana” in their own dealings with Hollywood. Every year actors come to L.A. hoping to hit the jackpot by getting cast in a TV pilot that will make it big. So many come and so few score. The odds of getting on a series that will become a hit are almost as bad as winning a state lottery. Those few that hit it big can enjoy an annuity for life. But those who don’t often wind up hitting all the lows an actor’s life can hold. Lots of them are women like Lana.
Lana Clarkson could have
fared worse, though. At least she had some fame. She left behind
a long filmography of 1980s "B" movies, among them
“Death Stalker,” “Blind Date,” "Fast
Times at Ridgemont High," "Scarface" and Roger
Corman’s “Barbarian Queen,” in which she played
the sword-wielding title character. Lana claimed the Corman role
was the prototype for the TV show “Xena: Warrior Princess.”
Lana was a regular at movie fan conventions, where she’d
sign autographs for hours. Her web site--www.livingdollproductions.com--says
she also was performing stand up comedy here and there around
town. Friends say she worked very hard on her career, and even
though she admitted to being “40-ish” the six-foot
blond looked great.
For a woman, being 40 in Hollywood is like being 65 in most other professions. The younger writer-producers and casting executives seem to have little use for a female actress over 40. The male actors fare much better at keeping their careers going, if only by riding the coat tails of the younger stars. Seems the powers that be think the public really is demanding to see yet another old geezer french kissing yet another starlet young enough to be his grandkid! Yes, you might say it’s still in many respects “an old boys club” in show biz.
Lana Clarkson, despite
all her hard work and networking with a 24/7 kind of lifestyle,
was not doing great of late. In fact, she was working at what
actors call a “square job”--pulling hostess duties
at The House Of Blues in West Hollywood. This is where she met
Phil Spector.
Phil was “62-ish” and Lana was “40-ish.”
This often means “Love Connection-ish,” providing the
“62-ish” is loaded with a lots of “cash-ish”
and “clout-ish.” But someone deviated from the Love
Connection script here, as Lana Clarkson was shot to death.
Was it the “62-ish” who pulled the trigger? There may be reason to think so. In 1980, The Ramones accused Spector of brandishing a gun in the studio and singer Leonard Cohen called him a “madman out of control” three years earlier. The cops say it’s too early in the investigation to know who did what–but I think they know.
Cops arrested Phil Spector, but they let him out on bail for a million bucks. Makes me wonder why my main man Bobby Blake is still sitting in jail, awaiting trial on charges he murdered his wife. Maybe if Bobby wrote, “To Know Him Is To Love Him” or produced “Then He Kissed Me” or “You Lost That Lovin Feelin” or “Be My Baby” like Spector did, he’d be walking, too? I must ask “why” is Phil Spector walking around? Is he not a flight risk? He certainly has enough money to get out of town. But Bobby’s still eating bad food while Phil is not. Phil has retained attorney Robert Shapiro, the brains of O.J. Simpson's defense team, but even he will have his work cut out for him. I mean the word out is that Phil Spector and Lana Clarkson were the only two people in his home when she got blasted. The cops also recovered the gun that they think will turn out to be the murder weapon.
May God bless Lana Clarkson. While I didn’t know her, I have seen other women in this town misused by that tiny part of the “Hollyweird” machine that grinds them up and spits them out with regularity--and it never sits well with me.
After meeting and marrying
Ann Jillian, I started working for her as her manager. I recall
how repulsed I was by some people in this town who can’t
do what they say they can do, yet they keep talking about it.
This is only a small percentage of our giant show biz industry
here. I refer to this little group as just “pebbles in the
road.” These “pebbles” can cause a very talented
person to slide off into a wrong direction career-wise.
While I didn’t know much about show business back in the
1970s, my instincts as a cop told me that it would be a manager's
job to remove the “pebbles” from the road, if we were
ever going to get anywhere at all. Apparently, it worked well
enough for us. We also knew about the “40-ish” problem
and were prepared for it. A wise opera diva, Beverly Sills, once
told Ann, “Save your money.” Thank God, we did.
Some of these “pebbles” don’t go away easy, though. Some are real “ankle-biters,” as my dear friend casting agent Joyce Selznick once nicknamed them, and some of them have to be removed in a very firm manner. I sometimes couldn’t tell the difference from being a cop in Chicago or a theatrical manager in Hollywood!
Perhaps poor Lana didn’t
have a “pebble remover” in her life, and perhaps the
pebbles talked her into taking a wrong turn here or there? But,
she was still a human being trying to make her dream come true,
and certainly should not have been killed! My heart goes out
to Lana Clarkson’s family and friends. I have contempt for
all the “pebbles” out here, be they “62-ish”
or not. Something makes me want to holler “take your money
and empty lives and leave the Lanas alone,” so they at least
still will have a hopeful dream.
Soon we will all know exactly who killed Lana Clarkson, but I
hope the guilty party cannot “run, run, run” but rather
will “do do do” the time. And I can’t wait until
my sweet Lord gets a hold on the killer!
But none of my nonsense
here will change the fact that, very sadly, it will be a dark
and cloudy pilot season as one who “tried out” will
be missing.
©2003 by Andy Murcia.
The photo of Lana Clarkson is the property of Jerry Beetz and
is used with his permission.
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