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Observations of An Ex-Cop in La La Land |
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The Movie & The Real Deal |
 THE MOVIE LOGO |
Hey, our movie reviewer
can really do this stuff!
of TheColumnists.com
My 11-year-old son dragged me to this movie called "S.W.A.T." I thought I knew what to expect: A lot of cops acting quasi-military in battle gear, walking in a line, moving like robots, checking all angles, and shooting the ass off everything in sight.
After all the gunfire, they catch the guys who are living large off the proceeds of drugs. That about says it all for this movie, unless you want to count the fact that they have a female S.W.A.T. (Special Weapons and Tactics) team member in the movie. She’s played by Michelle Rodriguez, who says she took this role because director Clark Johnson told her she’d be a “role model for young women.” You know, “female empowerment” and all that.
I'll say this: Michelle is in top physical condition. She enjoys being physical and they say she does most of her own stunts. If you saw her as a female boxer in “Girlfight” a couple of years ago, you know she could kick your butt--and you’d love it!
In "S.W.A.T.," the young leading man is Colin Farrell, He and Michelle have a one-nighter, but I think it’s just routine police recreational sex. I'd like to believe that as soon as she flipped him and cuffed him, he wisely never went back for a second date. However, I think I might have risked a neck brace and a few cuff burns to make it two out of three falls! This actress has some angles where she looks “leading lady” all the way. She proves she can act with the big boys and look convincing in all the cop situations, too.
This movie S.W.A.T. team is led by Sgt. Dan “Hondo” Harrelson, played gamely by Samuel L. Jackson. Man, this guy can act! And what an agent he must have! He’s deservedly in everything of late--or so it seems anyway. His lines are mostly pure Hollywood corn, but because of his great acting chops, he makes them work for the character. If this story is loosely based on an L.A.P.D. Sergeant of police, I’d have to bet he was a white guy. No cool brother black cop I ever knew would say some of the lines “Hondo” has to say.
The movie starts out with what appears to be the news video footage of those two mugs who tried to shoot their way out of El Banco in North. Hollywood, using high powered automatic machine guns. The L.A.P.D. cops were outgunned, but not outmanned as the two mugs wound up very dead.
The music is hot in "S.W.A.T." There's some background music that really turned me on. It's what I call "hot jazzy Mex rap.” The entire score is inoffensive , even to me--a decidedly non-rap kind of guy, I liked it all. There’s even some “old school” classic music that makes for a nice mix on the entire score.
All in all, I liked "S.W.A.T." because it was entertaining. I think it will serve as a recruiting film for the L.A.P.D. to round up some new meat. These S.W.A.T. cops love their work, drive hot cars, hang in cop bars, are loved by the chicks and they get to carry a lot of cool guns. I bet every 20-something Zuma Beach bum is already signed up for the next police force examination!
My son asked me if the S.W.A.T. cops in this movie were as good as the cops of my day in Chicago. I said, “No. We were better.” We did it for real, and while we didn’t handle cases where jet planes landed on bridges--as they do in the movie--we did a lot of old fashioned police work.
Back in the 1960s when
I was a young rookie Chicago cop, I was assigned to “Task
Force One,” a forerunner of what later became known as S.W.A.T.
teams across the country. We were a highly motivated and extremely
aggressive group of young cops. Even our supervisors had just
started to shave.
I worked for Sgt. Tim Danaher, aka “The Black Plague.”
Tim was a 6’-2” handsome black-haired Irishman who
simply enjoyed a good fight. A two fisted drinker who demanded
we cops in his squad drink with him, as he hated drinking alone.
We’d take over a strip bar on Rush Street at 4 a.m., toss
out the conventioneering CEOs, keep a few of the better strippers
on stage, and turn up the music. Sgt. Tim would make the strip
joint's Afro-American midget street hawker come in and dance
on the bar. He’d shoot the bottles on either side of the
little man every time he tried to stop dancing. The bar had a
stuffed moose head hanging and it had a lot of Tim’s lead
in it. Well, you get the picture, we needed time to unwind after
fighting crime and evil.
The reality of our Task Force One was that we were able to move fast into any high crime situation, anywhere in the City of Chicago. We were trained in the usage of high powered weapons such as sniper rifles, pump shotguns, machine guns, tear gas and smoke grenades. Our arsenal moved around the city with us in a paddy wagon. We trained at a military base north of Chicago.
Almost as soon as we started patrolling some of the high crime neighborhoods, the civic leaders complained. They thought because our mere name included the word “force,” that our presence took on the aura of an occupational “force.” They said this was insulting in itself. It signalled our intent to use “force” on their citizens, etc. The city fathers soon changed our name to “S.O.G. One.” for Special Operations Group One. The new name didn't make us more accepted by the public, but at least it appeared the politicians had done something for the people.
We in S.O.G. One employed
decoy tactics, such as male cops posing as women on dark streets
to clear up rape patterns in a given area, or posing as a drunk
where street robberies were rampant. It was fun to catch the
bad guys, but very dangerous duty. We were a tight band of brother
cops--no women--and Sgt. Tim had us believing we were the “Marines”
of the police department.
Yes, we hung out in bars, drank too much, let the cop-chasing
chicks catch us too often and we drove hot cars and packed at
least two cool guns, just like in "S.W.A.T." But we
never sold each other out as one cop does in the movie.
Sometimes we took a beating or got knifed a little or, in one case, shot before our back-up arrived. The decoy was “wired” for sound and his cue word for help was “hit.” We soon realized that the decoy cop yelling “hit” also alerted the bad guys that help was on its way. So “hit" became their exit line, as in "flee." So we changed it to “okay okay” since the bad guys mostly demanded our money or our booty on some occasions.
We tried to pick the guy with the slim body and high pitched voice to be the “lady rape decoy.” I know that’s when my voice really changed to basso profundo and I grew a beard. With my low voice, beard, and more full figured male bod, I made a better drunk cab driver than a sexy chick wearing false knockers.
As a young cop decoy, waiting
20 seconds for my backup to arrive seemed like two days, especially
when three bums were working me over. Today at 62, when I walk
or ride my bike, my only back-up now is my cell phone to call
the fire department ambulance (in case I take a header) and my
sun block cream for this vicious California sun.
Being a S.W.A.T. cop is definitely a young person's job--and
the new movie about it isn't bad, especially if you have an 11-year-old
son with you who loves action adventure. Even if you don’t
have a kid, I'll advise you to be a kid yourself and go. And
you'd better enjoy it or we’ll get Michelle Rodriguez to
put the cuffs on you, man!
©2003 by Andy Murcia.
The caricature of Andy Murcia is ©2003 by Jim Hummel. The
logo from "S.W.A.T." is courtesy of Sony Pictures.
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