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MAN ABOUT LONDON |
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THE MAZE CRAZE?  Want something like this as your backyard? Don't even think about it, bub! |
Round and round you go,
looking for the way out!
of TheColumnists.com
Warning! Beware the maze craze
Is there no innocent holiday pleasure any more? Nowadays it seems that everything must have an edge--an element of risk and danger. Here in Britain, youngsters think it far too tame just to swim in the sea. Their latest craze is to “tomb stone”--to jump off high structures into the waves below, with no idea whether a rotting piece of metal is lying just beneath the surface. They find the whole thing rather thrilling.
My idea of a summer holiday pursuit is more stately and civilised. But even activities that I once assumed to be innocuous are now capable of inflicting panic and humiliation.
Take mazes. They’re billed as giving wholesome pleasure to the entire family. But I recently had an appalling experience in the one at Leeds Castle in southeast England. Positioned on a calm little hill next to an aviary, this maze is described merely as “challenging and teasing.” All very deceptive. I must have been inside for an hour, fighting a gnawing sense of claustrophobia, and incapable of getting out, let alone further in. I could see the centre, because it was marked by a stone tower from which those who’d reached it-=pensioners, small children and the like--were pointing at me.
It was only after visiting a series of identical-looking blind alleys, and with a powerful sense of relief, that I finally found my way back to the entrance. I attempted to saunter out with the air of one for whom solving the riddle had been rather straightforward. Admittedly, the gatekeeper had a knowing smile, but I quickly dismissed the thought that he could possibly know, and I shuffled off into the aviary to try to pull myself together.
In the aftermath of this chastening failure I decided to do some research into mazes in the hope of some catharsis. To my horror, I found that they’re becoming increasingly popular. In Britain alone 125 mazes are open to the public, up from 42 in 1980, and more of the wretched things are being built all the time. The one at Leeds Castle, for example, dates only from 1988, though it looked to me as though Henry VIII might have built it.
There are hedge mazes, turf mazes, brick and stone mazes, wood and water mazes, with ever-more stunning and innovative designs. There are corn mazes too--mazes literally cut into fields of maize. The first of these was only created 10 years ago, but now they’re all over the place, getting bigger, more lucrative and inventive, some in the shape of cowboys, kangaroos, scarecrows or steamboats. The one near the ancient city of Bath had to be closed down … for being too popular: Thousands of visiting cars were clogging up the surrounding roads.
I’m not sure whether to be proud of this or not, but the international godfather of mazes is an Englishman, Adrian Fisher. He must have a sadistic streak, because he’s built more mazes than anyone else in history--500 of them in 27 countries--including my nemesis at Leeds Castle. Just last Monday he stole the show at the 26th International Puzzle Party in Sterling, Massachusetts, a secretive invitation-only event for the world’s foremost puzzle designers. His contribution was the largest “one-day maze” in history--a massive cornfield maze designed to be used only on that particular date. It covered six acres, had 10 bridges and, horrifyingly, contained nearly three miles of pathways.
If you think that’s scary, then I’m sure that, like me, nothing could persuade you to enter one of the terrifying-sounding, fully immersive “mirror mazes”--the other latest maze craze. These come with lights, illusions, sound effects, different themes and a storyline in which you never know what’s going to happen next, and in which you’re invited to be “the hero of your own adventure.” From inside, mirror mazes give the impression that they’re six or seven times as big as they really are.
Though they seem like death traps to me, mazes have all the hallmarks of a thoroughly edgy, adrenalin-inducing 21st century form of entertainment. They’re sprouting up all over the place--from Canada to Japan and Dubai--and the chances are that you’ll come across one sooner or later. Obviously my advice is to steer clear of them altogether, but if you can’t resist their allure, then heed my warning that the humiliating consequences of failure may return to haunt you.
You see, I now know that only a few exceptionally incapable people fail to get to the centre of the Leeds Castle maze within about 20 minutes of entering it. Worse, I’ve found out that once you’ve reached the central tower you only have one way to exit: via an underground tunnel.
Only those who fail altogether go out past the gatekeeper with the knowing smile.
©2006 by Robert Taylor. The illustration is from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted Aug. 7, 2006.
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